The Clarion Issue

The tragedy of the tsunamis and the death and destruction wreaked upon the many countries and people involved in its tragic aftermath have also brought another attack on America, this time by the media asking, "Is America doing Enough?" President Bush has pledged at least $350 million in cash to help the people in the areas hit by the earthquake and tsunami. Individual Americans, American charitable groups, and American companies are donating and raising money and much-needed items, even after going through our own disasters. Our military forces are being utilized in many different ways from helicopters and other aircraft to deliver much needed supplies, aid, and relief to rescue and recovery workers. Our Navy's ships are supplying fresh water for the people, with some ships providing over 90,000 gallons of fresh water every day. Naval search and rescue teams are recovering bodies and aiding in proper care of the remains. US Marines are driving trucks into remote areas distributing food and water and aid workers.

Of course, no one in the mass media has said anything about wanting these troops back home with their families or considered that their families are missing them. The media has never covered the sailors and Marines aboard those ships that are on short water rations in order to increase the water available to the victims on shore. The media hardly alludes to horrors they are seeing and the stench of death they put up with. Yet the media asks about America and Americans not doing enough?

Do those that ask if America is doing enough know how much it costs the military to generate and fly one sortie or the logistics involved of getting the right stuff to the right place? There are thousands of sorties that are being flown. Those that ask is America is doing enough should not forget to include man-hours involved in the maintenance cost of the airplanes and helicopters. Have they considered the cost of the aviation fuel? Once again Americans and our troops are putting there all out for those countries in need and at no expense to any country whatsoever, but the good ol' USA. Once again I ask, "Why are these people making such asinine comments about America is not doing enough?"

America has aided every country that has had disaster. How many times have those countries ever responded with aid to America? Did any countries offer help when the recent hurricanes devastated Florida or help with the flooding in the Midwest a few years back? Have any of them responded with aid to flooding and the landslides currently in California? I could name numerous other disasters, but I cannot think of one time any other country has come to America's aid in such times. For such people to make accusations or infer that America and Americans are not doing enough…including American citizens that make such accusations and raise those questions... please tell us how much is enough. Granted America is sometimes slow to respond. However, America and responding nations need to have a valid assessment of the situation in order to be able to respond with proper equipment and adequate personnel. Remember after the earthquake and tsunami first happened the initial reports said only 2,000 dead; then the death toll climbed for days.

Currently the death toll is approximately 162,000. The real total may never be known.

The top mainstream media is not covering the news; they are trying to create the news. Though this is nothing really new with the media, they are doing so at the expense of America and Americans. Again no real surprise as it is currently popular to bash America. How much has ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, NBC, and PBS contributed to the relief aid? Instead of them asking if we are doing enough, Let them tell us how much they think/feel is enough!

Another development is taking place in Indonesia. The Indonesian Government is refusing to allow our Marines to be armed, forcing them to return to the ship and not stay on the land. Refusing aircraft carrying supplies and aid workers to over fly certain areas to drop off the much-needed items and workers off. Refusing to allow the Sea Bees to come in and repair or build roads and bridges. All civilian workers must be escorted by armed Indonesian guards and are not allowed into certain areas either. The Indonesian Government claims this is for the workers' protection that there are Rebel forces in the area and using the aid camps. So far no one has found any of the Rebel forces doing so, not one Rebel anywhere. For Rebels to assault the people that have suffered and lost so much would surely be detrimental to the Rebel's cause.

It is suspected the real cause for the restrictions may be that the Indonesian government is hiding concentration type camps and hiding abuses in Human Rights.

Another most recent disturbing development is a rumor that is going around that America has developed and used some sort of weapon that created the earthquake and tsunamis. The rumors indicate that the weapon was used just so America could show the Muslim people that America would respond with humanitarian aid and was not evil, thus winning over Muslims to America's side. They talk about the positions of various US ships being in close proximity and no damage to Diego Garcia, an island and US base in the Indian Ocean.

Originally there were rumors that the terrorists might have done something to cause the terrible events on Dec. 26, 2004. Those rumors were quickly put to rest.

Clearly the terrorists want to hurt America any way they can, and they are using the deaths of approximately 162,000 people as a weapon against us. Hopefully nobody will believe any of these rumors for either side.

Are America and Americans doing enough? You decide!

The editors and staff of The Clarion Issue ask that if you are one of the people who believe in prayer that you pray for the safety of all of our troops and their families and also for the survivors of the tsunamis that lost so much. This article is dedicated to my brother Art Bravo who passed away on Christmas Day, 25 Dec 2004. Art was injured in the accident in May 2004 that killed our mother and never fully recovered. But by the grace of God, I was only slightly injured in the same accident. Go in peace my brother; we will miss you.

Editors note: The events surrounding the tragic death of Sam's mother and the injury of his brother were the subject of Sam's article in the June/July 2004 Clarion Issue. Sam lost his mother, father, and brother in 2004. We hope 2005 will be a better year for our friend and colleague.

THE UKRAINIAN PRESIDENTIAL MESS
BY THOMAS KELLY

The Presidential election late last year in the Ukraine was one for the ages. This election had wide-spread voter fraud, recounts, a poisoning, mass demonstrations and two of the most powerful countries on Earth, the United States and Russia, worried about the outcome.

Why was the American government so worried about the election in Ukraine? Location, location, location. The Ukraine is about the size of Texas and has a population about the same as California. It borders the pro-western countries of Poland and Hungary. Ukraine is right between the Western world and Russia.

The election started innocently enough, with two major candidates. There was Viktor Yanukovych, the Ukraine's Prime Minister, who was loved by the Russians and called a "Russian puppet" by his opposition. And there was Viktor Yushchenko, who was loved by the Americans, and called "An American Stooge" by his opposition. The two men have similar names but very different philosophies. Yanukovych sees a Ukraine as the most powerful ally and an important economic partner of Russia. Yushchenko visions Ukraine as a future member of the European Union and NATO. Candidates like these makes you think of the nostalgic "good old days" of the Cold War.

On October 1, 2004, 30 days before the election, Yanukovych was trailing badly in the polls. But being the Prime Minister, Yanukovych came up with a brilliant idea: He promised all Ukrainians he would double their pensions if he was elected. Within weeks the polls showed the two candidates in a virtual dead heat. Of course, it didn't hurt that Yanukovych had complete domination of airtime on the staterun television networks either.

While Yanukovych was surging in the polls, Yushchenko was being systematically poisoned. Just six months earlier, Yushchenko had a clear complexion, and the rugged good looks of a Hollywood movie star. By December, his face was horribly disfigured. Austrian doctors found that Yushchenko had been poisoned with Dioxin. Who poisoned him? No one knows for sure, but all signs point to Yanukovych and his pro-Russian supporters.

October 31st was Election Day, and most of the polls showed it would be a close race with Yushchenko winning by a narrow margin. Over 75% of registered voters participated in the election, a percentage we may never see in the United States. The final vote had pro-Russian Yanukovych winning by a razor thin margin, but fewer than 50% of the total votes. Yushchenko and his supporters immediately complained of voter fraud. An automatic run-off was scheduled for three weeks later.

The exit polls for the November 21st election runoff showed Yushchenko with a healthy 54% of the vote. It looked like the pro-Western candidate was headed for victory. A quote from the Yanukovych camp showed the pro-Russian candidate was confident: "Remember, if America only believed in exit polls, and not the actual count, John Kerry would be president." The official count two days later confirmed Yanukovych's confidence, a 3 percent victory for the Prime Minister.

On the 25th of November, Yushchenko called for a rally and a national strike to protest the elections. Millions of people flocked to the streets of Kiev and other major Ukrainian cities marching in protest to show support for Yushchenko. Secretary of State Colin Powell made the official US response: "We won't accept this result as legitimate". Every major Western nation voiced their concern over the election. Even President Bush, who had been silent on the election, said, "We're watching".

The country was in turmoil and the Ukraine Supreme Court was tasked to rule on the election results. The court found there was "massive violation of law" and ruled for a third election a month later. Investigations alleged there may have been three million fraudulent votes for Yanukovych. His supporters must have followed the Mayor Richard Daley school of voting, "Vote early, vote often."

During the next month, the whole Western world sympathized with Yushchenko. He had been robbed in two elections, the final medical report of his poisoning came out, and he was still fighting to become the next President of Ukraine. Even the Ukrainian Parliament sided with Yushchenko, so that the election mess that had paralyzed the country would be over. The momentum had shifted, and on December 26th Viktor Yushchenko won the third election by a large margin.

Of course, no modern day presidential election would be complete without a court challenge. The next day Yanukovych challenged the results and asked for a fourth election. He also claimed election rules were violated because Yushchenko had his 9 month old son wear orange (the official campaign colors) to the polls. The appeal was denied a few days later and Yanukovych resigned as Prime Minister on January 1st.

Now that Viktor Yushchenko is the new President of Ukraine, what should President Bush and the American people do next? A great symbolic gesture would be for President Bush to visit Kiev and meet with Yushchenko on his February trip to Europe.

Another step to solidify Ukraine's future would be for America to help Ukraine enter the World Trade Organization to increase foreign investment in the country. Current foreign investment in Ukraine is $7 billion. Compare this figure to the $65 billion in neighboring Poland, and you can see Ukraine needs economic help.

European Union and NATO membership are two more goals the United States can help Ukraine achieve. President Bush can show his support for Yushchenko and the Ukraine by discussing the proper road map for Ukrainian membership in the various European organizations with our European allies during the February NATO meetings.

Ukraine now has a President committed to reform. Yushchenko will give the country a chance to get rid of the corruption that has plagued Ukraine since its separation from the Soviet Union. The country has a real opportunity to follow the reform path of other successful Central European countries like Hungary and Poland.

There is one sticking point in the possible new US-Ukraine alliance. President Yushchenko ran on a promise to withdraw Ukrainian troops from Iraq. On January 10th, eight Ukrainian soldiers died in a car bomb explosion in Iraq. The next day the current president, Leonoid Kuchma, ordered the immediate withdrawal of all 1,650 Ukrainian troops from Iraq. The Ukraine currently has the 4th largest coalition force in Iraq. This is a matter where President Bush should allow the troops to leave and not let this issue dominate future talks with the Ukraine.

BUSH ADMINISTRATION PAID JOURNALIST TO SPREAD ITS EDUCATION PROPAGANDA
BY R. A. PEARSON

It is now apparent that the 2004 Bush Campaign paid Armstrong Williams, a nationally syndicated radio, print, and television personality, $240,000 of taxpayers' money to promote its No Child Left Behind Act. The revelations, of the questionable, if not illegal, use of the Education Department's money came in early January 2005.

The funds were provided through the Education Department headed by Sec. of Education Rod Paige. Part of the payoff was for a contract that required Williams' company, the Graham Williams Group, to produce radio and TV ads that promote the controversial education law and featured one-minute "reads" by Sec. Paige. The deal also allowed Paige and other department officials to appear as studio guests with Williams. Williams, one of the leading black conservative voices in the country, was also to use his influence with other black journalists to get them to talk about No Child Left Behind. Paige had made the news earlier in the first administration when he labeled the National Education Association (NEA), a prominent teachers professional group, a "terrorist organization."

In the typical Bush Administration blame someone else fashion, White House spokesman Scott McClellan said the decision on the questionable, if not illegal, spending was made by the Education Department. He did not directly answer when asked if the White House approved of the practice, saying it was a department matter. Paige and the Education Department defended its decision as a "permissible use of taxpayer funds under legal government contracting procedures." The point was to help parents, particularly in poor and minority communities, understand the benefits of the law, the department said. The law, usually referred to as No Child Left Untested by educators across America, is the centerpiece of President Bush's domestic agenda. It aims to raise achievement among poor and minority children, with penalties for many schools that don't make progress.

The Department of Education's contract with Williams dates to 2003 and 2004. It is billed as a "minority outreach campaign" with the goal of "educating the African-American community" about the education law.

Williams readily admits that he overstepped journalistic ethics by accepting taxpayer compensation (that is bribes) from the Bush administration to push the president's education agenda. Williams said, "Even though I'm not a journalist - I'm a commentator - I feel I should be held to the media ethics standard. My judgment was not the best. I wouldn't do it again, and I learned from it." Williams insists, however, that he supports the No Child Left Behind education law. While Williams went on record several times in support of the law, he often failed to mention that the Bush Administration has failed to fully fund the law and, that while money for testing has often been funding, allocations for teaching and learning have not been appropriated by the administration.

Williams should learn a lot. The scandal has hurt his reputation and has already cost him big bucks in his media enterprises. His syndicated newspaper column, published by Tribune Media Services, has been terminated and the various TV networks, such as CNN, that brought him on as a commentator have indicated that he will not be returning to their networks.

Williams' financial woes may not end there. Several government agencies, including the Federal Communications Commission (FCC), have launched investigations into whether Williams broke the law by failing to disclose he was paid by the Bush administration to plug the president's education agenda. There is even a chance that the US Senate may investigate the deals between the Bush administration and Williams. Leaders of a Senate committee have asked the Education Department to turn over records of recent years' public relations contracts with Williams. When Williams starts getting his legal bills from the Capital Hill lawyers he will need to defend himself once the investigations began, the quarter million the Bush Administration paid him will run out faster than congressman heading for a flu shot.

President Bush finally responded to the scandal allegations by saying, "The Cabinet needs to take a good look and make sure this kind of thing doesn't happen again." However, this is not the first time his administration has come under fire for its publicity efforts. The Bush administration has promoted No Child Left Behind with a video that comes across as a news story but fails to make clear the reporter involved was paid with taxpayer money. It has also has paid for rankings of newspaper coverage of the law, with points awarded for stories that say Bush and the Republican Party are strong on education. There was even flap over the way the administration promoted the 'reforms' in Medicare's coverage of prescription drugs. The Government Accountability Office, Congress's auditing arm, is investigating those spending decisions.

The President went on to say, "I appreciate the way Armstrong Williams has handled this because he has made it very clear that he made a mistake. There needs to be a clear distinction between journalism and advocacy." Of course, this is the typical Bush response to all its faux pas, "never admit your mistake, never apologize."

It is now apparent that Armstrong Williams will be left holding the bag for this incident. Rod Paige is leaving the Cabinet, probably for a lucrative lobbyist job, and President Bush will claim that he did not know the details of the deal, he was just glad Williams was on his side. If things get hot for the president, he will explain how fixin' education is hard work and talk about how he hopes Private Jessica Lynch gets to realize her dream and become a teacher in a country where no child is left behind. As for Armstrong Williams, it is good that he does not think of himself as a journalist because no one will ever make that mistake again.

THE BUSH ADMINISTRATION AND HEALTH CARE
BY HAMPTON BLOUNT

As more and more Americans find themselves unable to meet the rising healthcare costs that face their families, President Bush's administration has responded. The administration has responded by suggesting caps on jury settlement awards for medical malpractice. In this age of frivolous lawsuits capping unreasonable awards sounds like a good idea. However, one must look carefully at the actual results of Bush's cap.

In suggesting that jury awards be limited, the administration is protecting insurance companies and doctors from unfair lawsuits. Unfortunately these caps would also protect incompetent doctors from the reasonable results of gross incompetence. Does a $250,000 award cap seem reasonable for the case in which a hospital amputated the wrong foot? Does a $250,000 cover the pain of the 23-year-old women who went to the hospital for gall bladder surgery and had her ovaries removed?

If the administration, doctors, and insurance companies want to mitigate the cost of incompetence perhaps reducing the occurrences of gross negligence would be a more equitable way to do it. Just as important as the fact that lawsuit caps are inherently unfair is the fact that they would not solve the problem.

Estimates place the cost of large jury awarded settlements at less than two percent of the overall medical cost facing Americans. Lawsuit caps would not solve the economic problem, they would only diminish the protection afforded patiently.

The second half of the Bush administration's response to the unacceptable medical costs facing American families has been to propose cuts to Medicare funding.

The list of cuts Bush has proposed to Medicare is wide and varied. Among the casualties, a program that helped handicapped elderly people afford wheelchairs. Also set for the chopping block is a program intended to aid the elderly in attaining the prescription drugs they need.

The response from the Bush administration has been apparent and constant; it just has not been helpful.

"BRING 'EM ON" A CLARION ISSUE WAR UPDATE
CASUALTIES AS OF JAN. 17, 2005

US SERVICE PERSONNEL KILLED IN IRAQ ……….. 1,363
US SERVICE RERSONNEL WOUNDED IN IRAQ ……….. 10,252
US SERVICE PERSONNEL KILLED IN AFGHANISTAN……..154
US SERVICE PERSONNEL WOUNDED IN AFGHANISTAN……. 428

TOTAL CASUALTIES ……………………………….. 12,197
TOTAL COST …………………….$150,400,000,000

"A catastrophic success."
Pres. George W. Bush

An old farmer in Florida had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back fixed up nice; picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees! The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built. One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over.

He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end of the pond. One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"

The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked." Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm just here to feed the alligator."

The moral of the story: Old age and cunning will triumph over youth and enthusiasm every time.

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"

The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that read, "low bridge ahead." Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of him, and he gets stuck under the bridge.

Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"

A smart-butt guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering.

When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

"Most people in Arkansas know where Texas is, and all the people in Texas know where Arkansas is."
Pres. George W. Bush

Thud down an a tax/see ride- Third and long.
A woodshed whuppin'- A real bad loss.
Fightin' for the ball like it wuz the last bis/kit on da plate- going after the ball like he was hungry.
Rasseled him down- To tackle with a struggle.
A bailey/who- 1) A big game with a lot of promised hard hits. 2) A fight during the game.

Southern Team Names:
Jawja Dawgs- Georgia Bulldogs
Bama- Alabama Crimson Tide
All/bun- Auburn Tigers
Cocks- South Carolina Gamecocks
Hawgs- Arkansas Razorbacks
Jawja Teck Yeller Jackets- Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets

Yeller Jacket comemtator: "Yes, it was a big victory here today foe the Yeller Jackets."
Color man: "Yep! The Yeller Jackets sho' nuff put ah woodshed whuppin' of them 'ere Sir/a/cuze Ourge/men."
* * *
Southern radio sports talk show host- "It looks like the BCS cheated All/bun out of a real chance to play for the championship rang. There should be a playoff in Nawlines, Luzy/anner, between them Tigers and the USC Trojans."
Caller- "Yea! After all, what kinda mas/cut is a Trojan! Them lef (left) coast folkez can't decide if 'n they wanta play football or practice safe sex."
* * *
Univ. of South Carolina commentator- "Yes sports fans, There was a real balley/who here. Both the cocks' bench and the Clemson bench cleared for the rhubarb. Four or five players have been given the heave ho and are out of the game. The coaches are dumbfounded."
Color man- "Yea! And did ja see the fan in the stands get ejected? He was thrown out because of his sign."
Commentator- "What 'id it say?"
Color man- "It said 'Clemson can't lick our cocks.' "
* * *
FSU commentator Gene Deckerhoff- "It's thud down an a tax/see ride for the Noles. The Noles are in the shotgun, hers the snap and the quarterback guns it downfield forty yards-and it is complete. Oh my! The receiver went up and fought for the ball like it waz the last bis/kit on the plate at supper. Peter Tom, he's from a family of eight children you know."
FSU color man Peter Tom (PT) Willis- "I see ya number 8. What a catch, Gene."
Gene Deckerhoff- "PT he even made five yards after the catch. It took the defender that long to get him lassoed and rasseled down. I wouldn't wanta fight him for a loaf of bread."

Friday December 17, 2004, is now a date that will live in infamy for patrons of 'Gentlemen's Clubs' in San Antonio, Texas. On that infamous Friday, the city council of San Antonio approved an ordinance requiring strippers to apply for permits and to wear their permits in plain view while they are on stage. Obviously, the permits will be displayed on an appropriate place on the dancer. The permits will be roughly half the size of a credit card and will cost each exotic dancer $50 a year.

The permit would include the dancer's stage name and a photo. Police would be able to cross-reference that information with club records to determine her real name and other data. The law is intended to allow background checks on dancers The ordinance was pushed by City Councilman Chip Haass and adopted unanimously by the 11-member council as a way to make it easier for police to identify dancers. According to Lt. Mike Gorhum, who heads the San Antonio Vice Squad, "We're trying to reduce criminal activity inside the establishments on the part of the entertainers, i.e., prostitution."

The ordinance also forbids full nudity and mandates a three-foot space between dancers and patrons: therefore, there is no touching at all during table dances. Such contact is already banned, but there have been violations.

However, Jim Deegear, a lawyer for several strip clubs in the city, said the measure would put strippers in danger by making it easier for an obsessed customer to find out a dancer's real name and where she lives. He also pointed out that the space rule would require establishments to reduce the number of tables and the number of customers they can serve at any one time. Deegear implied that the law is part of an effort to drive strip clubs out of business, and indicated that he and the club owners will fight the ordinance in court.

Tempest, an exotic dancer said, "I really don't know where we're supposed to place it. It's definitely going to get in the way of our performing, and it might just look a little bit tacky." Other dancers indicated that they would wear the permit on a wrist or ankle chain." A more militant dancer who called herself 'Krupskaya, Emperess of the East,' said she plans to put the permit "on the back side of her G-string so that it sticks out of her butt cheeks, using it as a nipple cover, or something like that, to show her contempt for such an insipid law."

One outraged club patron declared the action of the city council as, "An insult to the basic ideas of freedom of expression and free enterprise. To make matters worse," the disgruntled aficionado of exotic dancing went on explain, "the law was passed in the very shadow of the Alamo, a sacred shrine to liberty and freedom to all freedom loving Texans, Americans and citizens of the world." Several red blooded, patriotic Texas men are setting up a web site in support of the dancers and plan to open it to web viewers as soon as the wristbands arrive which the web site plans to sell. The wristbands read WWJBD! (What would Jim Bowie do?) The web site is currently under construction.

Asian soybean rust, a fungal disease that has plagued farmers in Asia, Africa, and South America, has been confirmed in seven Southern states. By late November Georgia, Florida, Alabama, Arkansas, Louisiana, Mississippi, and Missouri had reported the soybean rust. The spores that cause the disease are believed to have been blown in from South America by the September hurricanes. While the rust arrived too late to damage the 2004 crop, the rust could survive the mild southern winter on other host plants such as Kudzu, and could cause major problems with the 2005 crop.

Agriculture officials are training county extension agents to recognize the disease and they are asking the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency to make more fungicides available. In Georgia, Philip Jost, a University of Georgia agronomist who specializes in cotton and soybeans, said the Extension Service is training county agents to identify the rust in its early stages and working with chemical companies and the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency to get more approved fungicides to control disease. The U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA) has formed a Soybean Rust Assessment Team to collect samples and confirm the presence of the disease.

Jost said, "We feel pretty comfortable that you can control it. The issue is going to be whether we can afford to control it." Fungicides can control the disease, but at considerable cost to growers. Experts estimate the additional cost of fungicide to ward off the rust could cost $20- $30 an acre, an expense that would eliminate most profits from soybeans without government subsidies to help fight the rust.

Asian soybean rust has already devastated soybean crops in Asia, Africa, and South America. The rust is spread by the wind and wind-borne spores can travel up to 1000 miles. The disease causes reddish-brown blotches on the leaves and can weaken the plants and reduce yields.

Today soybeans are the second leading U.S. agricultural crop worth $18 billion a year. The spores that caused the disease were on a list of USDA pathogens that could be used by bioterrorists against America's food supply and agricultural industry.

Global warming could be responsible for the spread of Asian soybean rust in the United States. According to scientists involved with global warming research, there is a link between a warmer climate and hurricane intensity.

GEORGIA SHERIFF CLEANS HOUSE ON FIRST DAY ON THE JOB; JUDGE ORDERS HALT TO SHERIFF'S SWEEP

On his first day on the job, Monday January 3, 2005, Victor Hill, the newly elected sheriff of Clayton County, Georgia, called 27 department employees to the jail, stripped them of their guns and badges, and had his new chief deputy hand them photocopied dismissal papers. What made the dismissal so alarming to the fired employees, and to the press and good people in Jonesboro, Georgia, was the Sheriff's department snipers that stood guard on the roof of the jail as the fired workers were escorted out. Because the fired employees were no longer allowed to use their county cars, some of the former deputies were driven home in vans normally used to transport prisoners.

Hill, 39, told the press that he fired the employees to "maintain the integrity of the department." The firings, however, had racial overtones. Hill was among a spate of African-American candidates elected last year in the county once dominated by rural whites. The fired sheriff's employees included four of the highest-ranking officers, all of them white. Hill told the newspaper their replacements would be African-American.

The next day, January 4th, Clayton Superior Court Judge Stephen Boswell ordered the new sheriff to immediately rehire them. The judge said, "It appears ... that employees of the Sheriff were terminated without cause and in violation of the provisions of the Clayton County Civil Service system."

Victor Hill is a former state legislator and police detective. Hill had clashed with some county commissioners and the local police chief before running for office. While in the Georgia House, Hill unsuccessfully pushed a bill that would have put Clayton County's police operations under the command of the sheriff's department, which has 345 employees. Hill indicated that the firings were justified by Georgia law, which he said allows the sheriff to run his department as he sees fit. "A lot of people are under the impression that the sheriff's office is under civil service laws," Hill said. "But my research shows the employees work at the pleasure of the sheriff."

The firings sparked outrage by at least one of the newly elected African-American officials, Eldrin Bell, the new county commission chairman and former Atlanta police chief. Bell called Hill's firings unlawful and filed for a 30-day restraining order, which Boswell granted Tuesday. Citizens of Clayton Co. also expressed outrage at the firings and the snipers on top of the jail at a meeting of the County Commission in Jonesboro later in the week.

Hill defended the snipers at the jail and the armed guards he is keeping to protect him and his home, citing the Dec. 15, 2000, shooting death of DeKalb County's Sheriff-elect Derwin Brown. According to Hill, "Derwin Brown sent out letters to 25 to 30 people letting them know they would not be reappointed when he took office." Just before Brown was to take office, he was assassinated in the driveway of his home. Like Hill, Brown was an African-American.

Former DeKalb Sheriff Sidney Dorsey, the sheriff who was ousted by Brown in 2000, was convicted of ordering the hit and sentenced to life in prison.

The case will most likely go to court some time after the 30-day restraining order ends in February. The county seat of Clayton Co., Jonesboro, was the setting for the fictional plantation Tara in the movie "Gone With The Wind."

Andrea Yates's 2002 capital murder convictions for drowning three of her children were overturned by a Texas appeals court. On January 6, 2004, the Texas First Court of Appeals ruled that a prosecution witness's erroneous testimony about a nonexistent TV episode could have been crucial.

Yates's lawyers argued that psychiatrist Park Dietz was wrong when he mentioned an episode of the TV show "Law & Order" involving a woman found innocent by reason of insanity for drowning her children. However, after jurors found Yates guilty, attorneys in the case and jurors learned no such episode existed. The court ruled that, "We conclude that there is a reasonable likelihood that Dr. Dietz's false testimony could have affected the judgment of the jury. We further conclude that Dr. Dietz's false testimony affected the substantial rights of the appellant."

The appellate court's ruling returns the case for a new trial, but Harris County Assistant District Attorney Alan Curry intends to fight the ruling. Curry said, "We fully intend to pursue a motion for a rehearing. Barring that, we'll continue to appeal to the Texas Court of Criminal Appeals. We still believe we have a good shot to prevail in appeal."

Jurors in 2002 sentenced Yates to life in prison in the 2001 deaths of three of her children. She was not tried in the deaths of the other two.

The defense's appeal cited over 15 errors from her trial, but the appeals court said since the false testimony issue reversed the conviction, it was not ruling on the other matters. Among other things, Yates attorneys had claimed the Texas insanity standard is unconstitutional. This claim touched off a national debate on criminal insanity.

Jerry Orbach, Law & Order's wisecracking Detective Lennie Briscoe, died on December 28, 2004, of cancer.

Orbach was born on October 20, 1935, in the Bronx. He was the son of a vaudevillian and a radio singer. After studying at the University of Illinois and Northwestern University, he returned to New York to study acting at the Herbert Berghof Drama School, and with Lee Strasberg. Among his jobs at that time was chauffeuring Mae West.

Orbach's stared on Broadway in Carnival as Paul Berthalet, the embittered, lame puppeteer who expresses his love for Lili through the puppets he manipulates, poignantly singing "Her Face." He won a Tony award for his performance as Chuck Baxter in Promises, Promises in which he sang the Burt Bacharach song "I'll Never Fall In Love Again" and the title song, "Promises, Promises." Orbach stared as Billy Flynn in Chicago, where he sang the song, "All I Care About Is Love" and "Razzle Dazzle." Orbach had another huge success in 1980 staring in 42nd Street. Here he delivered the celebrated lines to an aspiring actress: "You're going out there a youngster, but you've got to come back a star!" and singing the title song. 42nd Street was Orbach's last musical, but he provided the Maurice Chevalier-like voice for Lumiere, the candelabra, singing "Be Our Guest" in Walt Disney's Beauty And The Beast in 1989.

Orbach's film career began as a street gang leader in 1958 with the movie Cop Hater. He also played in Mad Dog Coll, The Gang That Couldn't Shoot Straight, Prince Of The City, Dirty Dancing and in Woody Allen's Crimes And Misdemeanors.

Orbach also made guest appearances on TV. His most notable appearances were opposite Angela Landsbury on the TV series Murder She Wrote. In 1992, Orbach was offered a lead role in Law & Order to replace Paul Sorvino. He stayed for 12 seasons, defining a quintessential TV detective. Orbach remarked that the cop series brought him "wonderful security." He said he did not know "where I stop and Lennie starts. I know he's tougher than me and he carries a gun. And I'm not an alcoholic - I know I wouldn't want to be him. I guess that's where I stop and he starts."

Orbach left Law & Order after being diagnosed with cancer for a spin off series Law & Order: Trial by Jury. He will be seen as Lennie Briscoe in three episodes of the show when it premieres this year.

Orbach was buried in a service at Riverside Memorial Chapel on the West Side of Manhattan on December 30, 2004. Orbach is survived by Elaine, his wife since 1979, and two sons from his first marriage. The Clarion Issue expresses condolences to the family, friends and fans of Jerry Orbach.

Starting 2005, major wireless phone providers (with the exception of Verizon) have announced their intention to establish a 411 directory of customers' cell phone numbers. While the companies indicate that they do not plan to "publish" the directory for any and all to read, it is now suggested that cell phone users put their cell phone numbers on the national do not call list.

Not everyone believes that the numbers will be protected. A privacy protection bill already introduced in Congress which would modify the plan to allow 411 callers to be directly connected to requested parties without the latter's phone numbers being given out.

The Federal Trade Commission has opted to allow cell phone users to list their cell phones on the national "do not call" list. To be included on the "do not call" list, you must call or go on line to register. You can either call 1-888-382-1222 from the cell phone that you wish to have put on the "do not call list" or you can do it online at www.donotcall. gov .

December 7, 2004, became a day of infamy for bird lovers in New York City as workers on a scaffold ripped out a hawk's nest from a 12th floor perch overlooking Fifth Avenue. The evicted tenants were two red-tail hawks known as Pale Male for his whitish plumage and Lola, his mate. Over the past nine years, he and a succession of mates had raised more than two dozen chicks from the lofty digs, a ritzy Upper East Side high-rise, entertaining countless Central Park birdwatchers in the process. Onlookers were outraged, and a woman who lives across the street was practically in tears.

Incensed bird lovers began to protest the decision of the building's owner Brown Harris Stevens outside the Manhattan high-rise and up and down Fifth Avenue. The protesters directed their anger at the co-op board, headed by developer Richard Cohen, the husband of CNN's anchor Paula Zahn.

Protestors carried signs saying "Protect Family Values, Bring Back the Nest" and "Honk for the Hawks," while the crowd chanted "Bring back the nest!" Some female protestors chanted with stuffed birds on their heads. 13-year-old Samantha Brown-Walker, clad in a cow costume with shaking udders, danced in the middle of Fifth Avenue as her mother watched proudly. She carried a sign that read, "MOOOVE Over Co-op Board." The signs and chants elicited raucous honks from buses, taxis, and cars. Even ambulance sirens screamed in support of the homeless hawks.

Pale Male became a local attraction in 1993 when he built his nest on a window cornice 12 stories above Central Park. Metal spikes, which were supposed to deter pigeons, provided support for the nest and protection from the wind. The spikes were removed in the eviction process to deter the return of the hawks. The Pale Male inspired a book, a documentary, and he has many fans have watched Pale Male and his mates raise their chicks over the years. Pale Male even has his own web site.

John Flicker, president of the National Audubon Society, said, "The whole city has fallen in love with these birds. We want the spikes back in place."

The owners of the exclusive building said the nest was removed because it posed a safety and health issue. Others, including actress Mary Tyler Moore, who lives in the same building as the hawks, indicated that the decision was due to complaints over "the occasional bird droppings." Moore added, "I am just amazed at the insensitivity ... of people who have torn away a nest that had been used for 10 years by an extraordinary red-tail hawk."

By the end of December the building's owners and co-op board had rescinded its bird-brained idea of evicting Pale Male and Lola. The question now is will the hawks return and reconstruct their nest?

Red-tailed hawks are not endangered, but the New York City parks commissioner wants to know if any laws or regulations were broken. He notes they do help control rodents. Another city employee that supported the hawks through the eviction controversy said, "Well it looks like the hawks are 'moving on up' after all."

A San Diego judge sentenced a couple to probation January 5th for locking the woman's son in the trunk of their car while they celebrated her birthday in a near by bar. In a plea agreement, the couple pleaded guilty to two charges of felony abuse and were sentenced to four years of probation and 500 hours of community service. The couple could have faced prison time for the abuse charge.

Sarah Marie Powell, 27, locked her 7-year-old son in the trunk while she and her boyfriend, Jake Faria, 31, celebrated her birthday Aug. 23, 2004, inside Winston's Beach Club in Ocean Beach near San Diego. Police received an anonymous tip that a child was locked in the trunk of her Volvo. A dog was in the car's passenger seat when officers arrived. Officers found the boy, a sleeping bag, pillow, and car battery in the trunk. The boy told police he had been put in the trunk about 10 other times.

Powell's attorney, Mary Ellen Attridge, said the plea bargain was made possible because tests showed the child was medically and psychologically sound. Faria and Powell are now seeing the boy daily and are on track to get custody of him in March.

While the Clarion Issue realizes that the cost of baby sitters is up; we do not recommend leaving children unattended in the trunks of automobiles.

In an effort to raise funds to aid the victims of the Asian tsunamis, Rasha, an Indonesian elephant who resides at Texas' Fort Worth Zoo, painted an original work of art that was auctioned off on E-Bay. The bidding began at noon on January 5th and ended on January 12th. The auction raised $7000 for the victims of the December 26 tsunami. 100 percent of the proceeds from the sale of the painting was donated to the American Red Cross to aid in the disaster relief.

The 2-foot by 4-foot modern art painting featured swaths of blue, green and lavender in sweeping motions and few straight lines. Rasha, the 31-year-old female elephant who regularly takes a paintbrush in her trunk for a good cause, has been dabbling in the arts for about nine years. She has created about 500 paintings. They are usually sold at the zoo's gift shop and at benefits and usually bring in around $200. It was hoped that this painting would do better and it did.

The biding started at $500 and rose over the weekend. The winning bid of $7000 was posted on Monday January 8. Zoo officials announced the winning bid came from North Hills Lincoln Mercury in Hurst, Texas.

Rasha, the Fort Worth Zoo's "Painting Pachyderm," was born in Thailand in 1967, and she began her painting career in the summer of 1996. To encourage the development of her talent, animal keepers have incorporated 15- to 30-minute painting sessions into her management. During the painting sessions, which usually follow her morning bath, her keepers hand her a paintbrush and offer her aesthetically pleasing color schemes. "Pachyderm painting" and other forms of enrichment are conducted at the Fort Worth Zoo to enhance natural behaviors and provide a healthy and stimulating environment for the animals.

Of course there is more to the story. Rasha knows personal tragedy and loss. Last year Rasha lost her newborn, but premature, calf when the baby elephant arrived six months too soon. The birth occurred just two months after the zoo held an elephant baby shower for Rasha and her baby. While thousands of working elephants in Thailand are helping remove debris left from the tsunami disaster, Rasha seems happy to be doing something to help.

According to Tarren Wagener, the zoo's conservation director, the Fort Worth Zoo has 380 Asian animals and supports more than 25 conservation projects in Asia. Wagener said, "It seems fitting that as the Zoo continues to educate a million people annually on the importance of Asian animal species, that the Zoo also makes an effort to support the people of Asia during this crisis."

In early December 2004, President George W. Bush nominated Mike Johanns to succeed Ann Veneman as Secretary of Agriculture. Johanns, who is the current Republican Governor of Nebraska, is a strong proponent of alternative energy sources, such as ethanol and biodiesel, and of finding ways to aid in drought relief. He is the former chairman of the Governors' Ethanol Coalition, and he has traveled the world to promote American farm exports, including American beef products.

Ann Veneman is expected to replace Carol Bellamy as head of the UN Children's Fund, a post that has traditionally gone to an American.

Johanns is expected to take a leading role in shaping farm policy for the United States; a policy that has been accused by the World Trade Organization (WTO) of providing unfair subsidies to producers. He will be faced with the challenge of reviving the $3.8 billion in beef exports that collapsed last year after mad cow disease was discovered in Washington state.

At his nomination press conference, Johanns, who grew up on a dairy farm near Osage, Iowa, said he was "very proud" of his agricultural background. He went on to say, "I have devoted a substantial amount of my time promoting rural economic development and agricultural issues, not only in our state, but across our country and overseas."

Johanns, 54, is midway through his second four-year term as Governor of Nebraska. He earned an undergraduate degree from St. Mary's College in Winona, Minnesota, and a law degree from Creighton University in Omaha, Nebraska. He was the mayor of Lincoln from 1991 to 1998. He was elected governor in 1998 by defeating Democratic opponent Bill Hoppner by a margin of 54% to 46%. He won reelection in 2002 by a landslide, defeating Democrat Stormy Dean by a margin of 69% to 27%.

As governor, Johanns has led trade missions to Mexico, Australia, Japan, Hong Kong, Korea, Malaysia, Singapore and Taiwan, mainly promoting farm products. "It's something that I love because that's where I came from," Johanns said. He championed the 2002 farm bill leading efforts in national and regional governors' associations on the bill's behalf.

According to the Renewable Fuels Association, Johanns was an early supporter of renewable fuels, beginning with a tax incentive for farmer-produced ethanol programs. Nebraska now has 11 ethanol-producing plants and is the fourth largest producing state behind Iowa, Illinois, and Minnesota. The U.S. produces about 3.5 billion gallons of ethanol a year. Decatur, Illinois-based Archer Daniels Midland Co. is the largest ethanol producer, with 1.1 billion gallons annually.

President Bush has made major changes in his cabinet for the start of his second term. Of the 15 executive departments, only six original cabinet members will remain. Transportation Secretary Norman Mineta, Interior Secretary Gale Norton, Labor Secretary Elaine Chao, and Treasury Secretary John Snow will remain as well as Bush's politically embattled Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld. National Security Adviser Condoleezza Rice will replace Colin Powell at the Department of State. Also leaving the cabinet are Spencer Abraham (Energy), Tom Ridge (Homeland Security), Anthony Principi (Veterans Affairs), Rod Paige (Education) who labeled the National Education Association as a terrorist organization, and the controversial Attorney General, John Ashcroft, who became Attorney General after he lost the 2000 Missouri Senatorial election to a dead man. Ashcroft achieved infamy at the Justice Department for putting clothing over statues with Janet Jackson style "costume malfunctions" and overzealously enforcing the USA Patriot Act.

Jim Nicholson, a decorated Vietnam War Veteran, will head the Veterans Affairs Department. Nicholson is the former chairman of the Republican National Committee and current U.S. ambassador to the Vatican.

One Bush nominee for his new cabinet has already withdrawn his name amid scandal. Bernard Kerik, the former New York Police Commissioner and nominee for the head of Homeland Security, was forced to withdraw his name a due to allegations of an undisclosed marriage, several simultaneous clandestine love affairs, unsavory business ties, illegal employment of an undocumented alien "nanny," tax fraud concerning the "nanny," and unreported gifts. Kerik served as Commissioner of the New York Police Department from 2000 to 2001and as Iraq's interim Minister of the Interior in 2003 but, he also had close business ties to 'America's Mayor' Rudi Giuliani. Kerik and Giuliani were partners in a consulting firm from 2001 to 2003. Kerik had business ties with the Department of Homeland Defense. Keirk had earned $6.2 million by exercising stock options he received from Taser International, which did lucrative business with the Homeland Security Department. There were also allegations that he had connections with people suspected of doing business with the mob. (At the Clarion Issue we just love Republican family values.)

After the Keirk debacle, President Bush nominated federal appeals court Judge Michael Chertoff to be Homeland Security Secretary on January 11th. Chertoff was assistant attorney general in the Department of Justice's criminal division from 2001 to 2003, and was one of the authors of the USA Patriot Act. As a veteran of Senate confirmation hearings it is expected that Chertoff will be confirmed to head the newest and largest executive department.

Pres. Bush plans to push a very risky agenda in his second term. He hopes to rewrite the tax laws, make his first-term tax cuts permanent, place limits on lawsuit awards, and change U. S. immigration laws. Bush wants manned flights to the Moon and Mars, and he plans to forge ahead on a problem-plagued national missile defense for shooting down incoming ballistic missiles. President Bush also continues to push for spreading democracy in the Middle East and a two state solution to the Israeli-Palestinian problem. His new cabinet is seen by many as maybe being a little too Bush policy friendly which could curtail any real divergent thought or discussion.

In recent history, only President Richard Nixon in 1972 matched the number of cabinet seats changing hands as has occurred under Bush. Of course an unfriendly cabinet was the least of Nixon's problems during his second term.

The World

CHINA HOSTS FORTH ANNUAL WORLD SUMMIT ON TOILETS

Over 500 delegates, plumbers, scholars, toilet designers, environmentalists, fixture manufactures, and city planners from 19 countries converged on Beijing, China, in mid November for the Forth International Summit on Toilets. The 3-day event that began on November 19, 2004, was organized by the World Toilet Organization. Delegates, scientists, and manufacturers talked about technology, lavatory management, and the link between toilets and tourism.

The summit concentrated on the long-held silence over the toilet that is taking its toll on global health and holding back developing countries. That is the warning from hygiene experts attending the summit. According to the United Nations Environment Program, about 2.4 billion people around the world do not have access to adequate and sanitary latrines. As a result, the main source of water contamination in developing countries is human feces, allowing parasites, bacteria, and viruses to get into drinking water and cause diseases. According to Jack Sim, founder of the Singapore-based World Toilet Organization, good toilets are a basic human right. Children easily become ill and because of this, their education suffers and poverty is inevitably exacerbated. "We're trying to bring these unspoken issues onto the stage and make toilets a mainstream subject. In the past, there were women's liberation, leprosy, AIDS, the sexual revolution; all these are taboos that have been broken. The toilet problem is probably the last one."

The organization said Beijing had been chosen for the summit to highlight the millions of dollars the city has spent upgrading and building more than 700 new public toilets to prepare for the 2008 Olympic Games. "This conference is demonstrating that our government is highly concerned about this and is trying to solve the problem," said Fang Zehua, a director at the Beijing Bureau of Tourism, a co-organizer of this year's summit.

"New public toilets are an important symbol to demonstrate the development of the city," said Liang Guangsheng, deputy director of Beijing's Municipal Administrative Committee. In the past three years, Beijing has spent 238 million yuan ($29 million) on building or renovating 747 restrooms at tourist spots, according to the city government. "The toilets are sanitary, convenient and private," according to Yu Changjiang, director general of the city's tourism bureau. The city also aims to make them suitable for users of all ages, for the disabled, and energy and water-efficient. "People settle for good food, good clothes and good living conditions without paying enough attention to the toilet," Yu said. "Toilet issues are a very important symbol of people's quality of life."

The city has come up with a rating system, inspired by the Singapore model, of one to four stars for its public wash rooms, reportedly based on such criteria as granite floors, remote-sensor flushes, automatic hand-dryers and piped-in music. The capital now has 88 four-star lavatories, 161 that qualify for three stars, 312 for two and 110 for one.

Delegates to the conference were taken on a tour of new and renovated public toilets around the Chinese capital. One of the toilets toured was the new four star toilets at Tiananmen Square. This new toilet features a TV screen in front of each urinal and piped in classical music. One observer noted that the TV screens were not replaying the Chinese government's brutal crackdown of the 1989 anti-government protests that occurred in the square just outside the four star toilet.

Photos of showcase lavatories were also displayed at the conference. These included a ladybug-shaped toilet in a public garden and another modeled after a grass hut in a wildlife park. Facilities with baby changing stations, wheelchair ramps, and gleaming white ceramic urinals were also featured.

Another important focal point of the conference was toilet maintenance. According to Simon Tay, one of the speakers at the summit and chairman of Singapore's National Environment Agency, maintenance is as important as construction. "It's something that China needs to think about." Tay maintains that maintenance is the key to good, clean restrooms. He said, "I hate the word luxury toilet because really good toilets should be an everyday common thing. It doesn't have to look like the Shangri-La toilet ... in order for it to be something that we can be proud of."

This year's summit was a tremendous success. China, the home of the world's fineest porcelain, convinced the world that its former fetid toilets would be cleaned up and ready for the 2008 Olympics. Next year's Summit on Toilets is scheduled to be held in Ireland. Previous hosts for the summit include Singapore, Seoul and Taipei. Participants this year came from countries as far flung as Finland, Japan, and the United States. Toilet watchers expect the United States to host the Sixth Summit on Toilets, possibly in Flushing, New York. Perhaps New York Senator Hillary R. Clinton will take the delegates on a tour of the 'Grand Canyon' toilets in New York's subway stations. They are called 'Grand Canyon' toilets because "they will take your breath away."

'HOBBITLIKE' BONES FOUND IN INDONESIA

In late September 2003, Australian and Indonesian scientists working on a remote Indonesian island announced that they had found the bones of what appear to be 'hobbitlike' dwarves. The discovery could rewrite the history of human evolution since the scientists say the skeleton is of a totally new and unknown human dwarf species that became marooned for eons on a remote Indonesian island while modern humans rapidly colonized the rest of the planet.

The bones were found by an archeological team working on Flores Island, part of Nusa Tenggara, an island chain stretching east of Java and Bali towards Australia. The extinct species of hominid, that stands about three feet tall, was named Homo floresiensis, or Flores Man, by the scientific community. The partial skeleton was found in a shallow limestone cave known as Liang Bua. The cave extends into a hillside for about 130 feet and has been the subject of scientific analysis since 1964. The cave is fenced off and patrolled by guards. It is surrounded by coffee farms. The details of the find appeared in the November, 2004, edition of Nature magazine.

The specimen was a female thought to be about 18,000 years old, based on radiocarbon dating and the dating of tools found with the partial skeleton. Scientist believe that the species lived from 95,000 to 12,000 years ago. If this assumption is true, then Homo floresiensis lived until the threshold of recorded human history and perhaps coexisted with the ancestors of today's islanders. The discovery was dubbed as, "… arguably the most significant discovery concerning our own genus in my lifetime," by anthropologist Bernard Wood of George Washington University, who reviewed the research on Flores Man. Robert Foley and Marta Mirazon Lahr of Cambridge University indicated that discoveries simply "don't get any better than this."

Homo floresiensis had a grapefruit-sized brain that was two-thirds smaller than modern humans (Homo sapien) and closer to the brains of the transitional pre-human species Australopithecus that lived in Africa some 2 million years ago. Unlike Australopithecus however, Flores Man is believed to have made stone tools, lit fires and organized group hunts for meat. Bones of fish, birds and rodents found near the skeleton were charred, suggesting they were cooked. These factors suggest Flores Man lived communally and communicated effectively, perhaps even verbally. Archaeologists speculate that the artifacts suggest that that Flores Man probably is a descendant of Homo erectus. Homo erectus remains have been discovered on Java and could have migrated from Java to Flores and other islands by bamboo raft nearly a million years ago.

However, not all scientists believe that Flores Man is a member of the humanoid family. According to anthropologist Jeffrey Schwartz of the University of Pittsburgh, "I don't think anybody can pigeonhole this into the very simple-minded theories of what is human. There is no biological reason to call it Homo. We have to rethink what it is." Some scientists believe the find to be a dwarf or some unknown type of extinct ape. For now scientists are limited to examining digital photographs of the specimen. The bones have been locked away in a laboratory in Jakarta, Indonesia.

The skeleton is an adult with worn teeth and a fused skull, so it is not an infant. The shape of the pelvis is female. The skull is wide like that of Homo erectus, but the sides are rounder and the crown traces an arc from ear to ear. The skull of Homo erectus has straight sides and a pointed crown. The lower jaw contains large, blunt teeth and roots like Australopithecus yet the front teeth are smaller and more like modern human teeth. The eye sockets are big and round, but unlike other members of the Homo genus, it has hardly any chin or browline. Homo floresiensis appears to have walked upright, but the pelvis and the shinbone have primitive, somewhat apelike features.

Bones from the species' feet and hands have not yet been found. Delicate artifacts found in the cave were described as "toy-sized" versions of stone tools made by Homo erectus. They suggest that Flores Man retained the intelligence and dexterity to flake small weapons with sharp edges, even if its body shrunk over time.

Some scientist argue that if the new species can be proven to have extremely big feet, it should be renamed Homo hobbitsis in honor of Hobbits, the principal characters of J. R. R. Tolkien's novels The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings trilogy, and The Harvard Lampoon's Bored of the Rings. Who can forget the time in Board of the Rings when the book's hero, Frito, is being seduced by a voluptuous elf-maiden who is saying, "Toes, I love hairy toes."

Look for a new reality show, Survivor: Escape From Hobbit Island, to premier next year. The show will feature modern midgets, or 'little people' to be politically correct, marooned on Hobbit Island, living in barrels, playing Hobbit games, and voting each other off each week for the worst rendition of "Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead." The show's logo will feature big hairy feet on a tropical island backdrop. It will be hosted by a wizard narrator known as Goodgulf Grayteeth, and his assistant, a ranger named Arrowroot Arrowshirt. Several hobbits, Dildo, Spam, and Frito will set up challenges such as finding the chink in Smog's scale armor and avoiding the Riders of Roi-Tan. Check your local TV listings for time and channel and look for a review in later issues of the Clarion Issue.

GERMAN THEATER PRESENTS SNOW WHITE AND THE FOUR DWARFS AS CHRISTMAS PROGRAM

Say it ain't so. In Germany, things are so tight that Snow White had to lay off three dwarves.

Yes folks, the folklore we grew up with is major financial trouble even the homeland of the Brothers Grimm themselves. The Altmark Stendal Theater could only afford to hire four actors as dwarves in its Christmas production of "Snow White and the Seven Dwarves." To fill out the dwarf roster, there were two puppets in dwarf outfits in the background, plus the actor playing the prince had to double up, making a brief appearance as Dwarf Seven. German and tourist theatergoers still felt shortchanged.

Stendal, Germany, is near Hanover, the ancestral home of the British Royal family, the Windsors.

While theater producers could argue that you really don't need seven dwarves, that four can get the job done, imagine that you took your six year old child to the production and her favorite dwarf, Sleepy, had been one of the 'downsized dwarf workforce.' How could you ever make it up to her? Why if any Clarion Issue writer ever attended such a production and Grumpy got the financial ax, we would be completely dumbfounded and demand our money back.

However, rumor has it that the Altmark Stendal Theater is planning other staff reductions, budget cuts, and downsizing in other productions. The theater announced that in future productions of "Cinderella," there will be only one ugly stepsister. "Really, the second stepsister is redundant," said a spokesperson for Cinderella Productions Ltd. "One stepsister can handle all of the grousing and gloating and being fussed over by the stepmother, as well as being unable to fit her foot into the slipper. Besides, with the two ugly stepsisters, we found we had a lot of sibling rivalry and hostility going on backstage, and things got, well, ugly." Because of budget considerations, the number of mice turned into horses to pull Cinderella's carriage will also be reduced from six to two.

"Ali Baba and the 40 Thieves" has also been downsized due to cash-flow problems. Most of the thieves have been laid off, leaving the story re-titled as "Ali Baba and the 11 Thieves." Budget cuts could also effect productions of Rapunzel, Rumpelstiltskin, and Sleeping Beauty. There is concern that a budget cut in "The Emperors New Clothes" could affect the modesty of any Lutherans in the audience.

One American tourist in Germany said, "I just hope Disney does not get wind of this budget-cutting concept. Why then a person would have to stand line for hours to get the signature of 'the real' Goofy."

STRAWBERRY FIELDS TO SHUT DOWN

Sorry John, nothing is forever, not even Strawberry Fields. The Liverpool orphanage that inspired the Beatles' 1967 hit song "Strawberry Fields Forever"' is set to close in two years.

The Beatles's single was released in February 1967, with ``Penny Lane'' on the reverse side and quickly made it to number two on the British charts. The single was released with two 'A' sides and no 'B' side. It was kept out of the number one slot by Engelbert Humperdinck's "Release Me." "Strawberry Fields Forever" also appeared on the album Magical Mystery Tour with "All You Need Is Love," "I Am The Walrus," and the title cut, "Magical Mystery Tour."

John Lennon wrote the song's dreamy lyrics about a time in his childhood when he lived near the Strawberry Fields orphanage. It has been suggested that Lennon felt a kinship with the orphans. Lennon was abandoned by his father and his mother, Julia, sent him to live with his Aunt Mimi, who raised him.

The Salvation Army, which now runs Strawberry Fields, said the current preference for placing children with foster families has reduced the need for orphanages. Only three youngsters remain at the home in Liverpool. According to Marion Drew, divisional leader for the Salvation Army's northwest region, "We have to give two years' notice of closure,… but there is no precise date for closure yet. The three children currently staying there will be found foster homes. That was always the plan for them, so they will not be affected by the closure."

Drew said the organization would attempt to relocate the 30 staff members working there. As for the home and the gate, she said no decision has yet been made on the fate of the building or its famous gates. The gates, which are clearly labeled "Strawberry Fields," have become a landmark for Beatles fans paying homage to Lennon.

John Lennon left money to the home in his will. His widow, Yoko Ono, donated more than $70,000 to keep the facility open in the 1980s.

The closure of the famous orphanage will not affect the "Strawberry Fields" section of New York's Central Park. The section was established as an American memorial to Lennon's work for world peace after he was assassinated in New York by the loner Mark David Chapman in 1980.

A. A small horse used by a squire
B. A dagger used by Celtic warriors
C. A shield used by crossbowmen
D. A Norman helmet
E. A metal stirrup that supported a knight with a lance
F. A set of gold spurs used in medieval times

Answer C. A Pavise was a shield large enough to allow a crossbowman to reload in relative safety during a medieval battle.

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