The Clarion Issue

Counter Editorials and Opinions on Current Events and Attitudes


    Volume V, Issue II                                                           March 2005

 


CLUNY'S CORNER Cluny@ClarionIsh.Com

WASHIN' MACHINE CHARLIE

My master and I always enjoy watching old TV shows on the various cable channels that carry them. If you're on the right channel at the right time, you can catch a great TV show called Baa Baa Black Sheep. It's not really about sheep though, it is about a Marine fighter squadron in the Pacific during "the big one, WWII." It stars Robert Conrad (the real James West), Dan Blocker (Hoss Cartwright's son) and my favorite character, the dog named "Meatball." In one episode, their base always gets bombed at night by a lone Japanese airman they named "Washin' Machine Charlie." They gave him this name because his airplane was slightly out of tune and it sounded like a washin' machine's spin cycle every night when he comes over to bomb them. That's how our 'Washin' Machine Charlie' got his name.

'Washin' Machine Charlie' is the man that rides around town every morning delivering the other newspaper to our fair city. My master says the only reason that paper sells is because there are so many fishermen in St. Marys. I guess that paper carries information on the latest fishin' lures and stuff that the Clarion Issue doesn't carry. My master does say that if you go fishing in the mountains you need to lay in a good supply of muddler flies. Anyway, 'Washin' Machine Charlie's' car sounds like it has a hole in the muffler and is slightly out of tune. He usually arrives about 5:40 in the morning, rumbles down our street, and causes a huge noise that wakes everyone up, including me. Now when I'm awakened from a sound sleep I bark, run to the door, and bark some more. This really makes my master mad, but not at me of course; he directs his anger at 'Washin' Machine Charlie.' My master really gets mad on weekends when we could sleep late if it wasn't for 'Washin' Machine Charlie."

Now the noise and early wake up call are one thing, but 'Washin' Machine Charlie' is a danger to the community. He runs up and down the road like he was Bobby Labonte drivin' in the Pepsi 400 at Datona. My master will not let me go outside to go 'puppy poo-puppy pee' until 'Washin' Machine Charlie' has made his run. He says it is not safe because of the speed that 'Charlie' drives. I try to let my master know that there is no danger since you can hear him coming two miles away. However, my master fears for me and keeps me in, even if I've gotta' go real bad, till 'Washin Machine Charlie' has done his 'thang,' made his run, and woke up and endangered the entire neighborhood.

Every morning my master and I hope 'Washin' Machine Charlie' has finally made enough money to get his muffler fixed and to get a tune up, but every morning it sounds like they have just finished the National Anthem at the Daytona 500 and said 'Gentlemen, start your engines." I guess the other paper pays about the same salary as the Clarion Issue and it will be a while before 'Washin' Machine Charlie' can get his car fixed!


Write me, Cluny@ClarionIsh.com .