CLUNY'S CORNER Cluny@ClarionIsh.Com

FROSTY PAWS ICE CREAM FOR DOGGIES

For the first time in its almost 20-year history, the good folks at Frosty Paws, makers of doggie ice cream, have come out with a second flavor. Now Doggies around these United States, Canada, and Europe can instruct their masters as to whether they want original flavor Frosty Paws or the new peanut-butter version of this tasty treat. Yes, now along with the doggie biscuits, Scooby Snacks, Liva Snacks, and People Crackers that crowd up our masters counters, the Vitabites (with the picture of Lassie on the bottle purchased at the Lumber City Mal-mart) Heartworm and Flea medicine that crowd up the medicine cabinet, and the Alpo and Pedigree cans which clog up the pantry (except when the Chinese sell inferior grain to dog food producers) now Frosty Paws can fill up the freezers all around the world. After all, nothing is too good for 'man's best friend.'

Frosty Paws was invented in the late 1970s by William Tyznik, an animal nutritionist at Ohio State University. Of course you would not expect it to be developed in the backwoods of Mississippi where doggies still get ham hock, peas, and cornbread as their daily meals, sorta like Paris Hilton in jail. Tyznik, a professor emeritus in the animal sciences department, got the idea to concoct a frozen treat for dogs while driving past a Dairy Queen on a hot summer day and saw two little old ladies give large ice cream sundaes to their poodles and realized that while the dogs enjoyed the cool dessert, it wasn't good for them. So he went home and started mixing up ingredients in his kitchen.
Frosty Paws is much better for dogs than ice cream is for humans. It contains refined soy protein, lactose free whey, vitamins, minerals, and oil to improve coat texture. No sugar or artificial flavors are added.
Humans say the original flavor taste like chalk, but doggies are attracted to the Frosty Paw's coolness, not its taste. Doggies pant to stay cool; we don't sweat. But I think I'll try the new peanut butter flavor at my next Paw-rty. That's right, check it out at their web site www.frostypawstreats.com . I think I'll have this big shindig after I lead the Clarion Issue staff in the Fourth of July parade and invite all my pals, Col. Bud, Sam's doggie, my cousins Jack and Rudy, Miss Daisy my girlfriend, my Hawaiian friend Poo Poo Lot'a Poi, and Fatwah el-Jihad, the saluki next door. Maybe Fatwah will bring his four wives. I may even invite my master and his girlfriend, Miss Leashemup. I'll be sure to have plenty of Frosty Paws and Happy Tail Ale (you remember, the ale for doggies I reported on in the last issue.)
Maybe we'll have a photo taken for the Paw-rty photo contest and send it in to the Frosty Paws web site. Especially if we can get Poo Poo to knock back down some Happy Tail Ale and dance the Hula in a grass skirt. That's always a gas. Watch the web for photos, and tell your master to look for Frosty Paws.

Write me, Cluny@ClarionIsh.com .