CLUNY'S CORNER Cluny@ClarionIsh.Com

CLUNY'S CORNER A DOG GONE LOOK AT THE WORLD
COUNTERFEIT $200 BILLS NOW IN CIRCULATION

Several months ago I was going through all my fan mail and spam that arrives daily at my e-mail address, Cluny@ClarionIsh.com when I saw an important warning posted by the good law enforcement agencies in the great and sovereign state of North Carolina. It seemed that some idiot had made and passed a counterfeit $200 bill, and some bigger idiot had actually accepted it.

The report indicated that the bill had been passed in Roanoke Rapids, NC, where police were searching for a man who paid for $150 in groceries at a Food Lion grocery store with a $200 bill. The man walked out of the store with his groceries and $50 in change before the fake $200 bill was discovered. The bill was described as bearing the image of President Bush on the front and had the White House on the back. It also included signs on the front lawn of the White House with slogans such as “We like broccoli” and “USA deserves a tax cut.” Instead of being labeled a Federal Reserve note, the fake bill was marked as a “Moral Reserve Note” according to Roanoke Rapids police spokespersons.

I really paid no attention to the memo. After all, southeast Georgia, where the Clarion Issue is based, is a long way from Roanoke Rapids. I figured that my master was sane enough not to take one.

Then one day we were out collecting money from all those good people who advertise in our paper, when he comes back to the car and proudly shows me a ‘new’ $200 bill! It even had a picture of President Bush (43) on it!

What could I say! I tried to tell him it was counterfeit, but he insisted that it was real and new and that the ‘Moral Reserve Note’ had been the idea of Attorney General John Ashcroft. However, before our rattin’ around for the day was done, he’d been thrown out of the butcher’s shop where he tried to pass it. Lucky for me, the butcher was so mad that he threw my bones out at my master. I was able to snack on a nice bone all the way home while my master stewed in his own stupidity.

Finally we got home and I saw my master sneak into the office. When he got back he informed me that he had put the bill in the safe, right next to the bonds he bought from the traveling war bonds salesman, you know- the bonds with the picture of President Davis on them!

Write me, Cluny@ClarionIsh.com .