The Clarion Issue

THE MIDDLE EAST CONFLICT: CAUSE, EFFECT, AND THE DAY AFTER THE GUNS FELL SILENT
By R. A. Pearson

For over a month, the world watched as Israeli forces took on terrorist enemies on its northern and southern border. The conflict began on June 28, three days after Hamas militants from the Gaza strip tunneled into Israel, killed two solders at a checkpoint, and kidnapped Cpl. Gilad Shalit. A few days later, Shiite Hezbollah militants based in Lebanon, held a similar raid along Israel’s northern boundary, killing three and kidnapping two other solders.

Israeli forces invaded Lebanon in an attempt to clean out the Hezbollah forces from the border; an area surrendered to the Hezbollah forces by both the Lebanon army and the small U.N. forces stationed in the area. Israel used its superior air power and long-range artillery in an attempt to subdue the terrorist forces that hid among the civilian population and fired long-range missiles into major population areas in northern Israel. As the war escalated, both sides did tremendous damage to civilian populations; however, Israeli warplanes did more damage to Lebanon’s infrastructure and caused more civilian deaths than most of the world felt was necessary.

The problem with the war was several fold. The failure of the Israeli coalition government, led by Prime Minister Ehud Olmert, to move decisively into southern Lebanon early in the conflict proved fatal to the Israeli war effort. This indecision stalled the Israeli army on the border area allowing Hezbollah forces to fire Katyusha rockets into northern Israel and to dig in into areas occupied and abandoned by Lebanon’s civilians using these areas to hide and screen their activities.

The war also showed up problems in the Israeli army. The Israeli army is no longer the large offensive professional force that swept to victory in 1967 and 1973. The army now relies on reservists who take time to activate, muster, and equip before going into battle. It also takes time for citizen solders to acclimatize themselves from civilian jobs to battlefront conditions in the Middle East, something that cannot be done at a weekend muster at a Kibbutz in northern Israel before going into battle the next Monday. The army’s leadership also miscalculated the strength, weaponry, defense positions, and determination of the Hezbollah forces in southern Lebanon, and this miscalculation cost the army time and causalities during the war.

In the war against Hezbollah, the Hezbollah forces opted to fight a hit and disappear guerrilla style war. Hezbollah refused to lead its forces out and fight a major battle against the better-equipped Israeli army. There was no “Battle in the Latani River Valley” reminiscent of the 1759 ‘Battle on Plains of Abraham’ outside Quebec where the French march out and lost Canada to the British in one ill-fated 45 minute long ‘gentleman’s battle.’ Hezbollah proved hard to find, hard to hit, and hard to destroy. While the world knows Hezbollah is supplied by Iran from Syria, it is doubtful that Israel really disrupted the supply line from these states to Hezbollah.

The Bush administration gave the Israeli government time to accomplish its stated goals; however, indecision in the Israeli government, the inability of the Israeli army to move into Lebanon, and stubborn Hezbollah residence forced the warring factions to sign on to a ceasefire on August 14. It is here that a look at the morning after is important to understand the hatred in the region.

The day after the ceasefire, Hezbollah staged a major victory fireworks display in Beirut. As predicted by Thomas Friedman, author of The World Is Flat and From Beirut to Jerusalem, Hezbollah leader Hassan Nasrallah appeared on TV and claimed victory saying that an Arab force had finally stood up to Israel and fought them to a standstill. As Lebanon’s civilians headed home, they faced the devastation of the month long bombing and shelling. Lebanon’s economy and infrastructure is now in taters.

Lebanon was once the Riviera of the Middle East. It was an area where Moslem, Christian, and other religious groups lived in harmony and built a viable economy based on ethnic and economic diversity until it was devastated by a civil war from 1975-1990. The latest internal and external consequences from the civil war was the Israeli occupation of Lebanon that ended seven years ago and the Syrian occupation and intervention that was ousted in the Cedar Revolution two years ago. But Hezbollah is not a state within a state. It is a state within a state that controls a state. Many Middle Eastern observers believe this war started under orders from Iran to take pressure off the U.S. and U.N. demands to stop the enrichment of uranium. The day after the war ended, Hezbollah officials were out assessing the property damage and promising to help repair homes and businesses in southern Beirut and other Shiite and Hezbollah areas of Lebanon. A few days later they were delivering cash to the same areas. Many of the experts believe the Hezbollah’s money is coming from Iran’s oil sales.

It is hoped that the proposed U.N. force of 15,000-strong can deploy into southern Lebanon and instill a lasting peace. The Lebanese army has deployed to the border, but it is doubtful the army or Lebanon’s government is willing to force Hezbollah to surrender its arms. It was hoped that the major contributors to the U.N. force would be France and Turkey. France had been a major broker in arranging the cease-fire, but has (predictably) backed out of serious participation in the U.N. peacekeeping force. The U.N. hopes to have the peacekeeping troops in place by mid-September.

At least 810 people were killed in Lebanon during the 34-day campaign, most of them civilians. Israel suffered 157 dead, including 118 soldiers. It is estimated Israel did kill 30% of Hezbollah’s fighters and damage its infrastructure, but Hezbollah will emerge in a stronger political position as a result of the war and the rebuilding effort. Yet there were no winners, only losers. The losers were Lebanon, the Palestinians, and Israel. Unless Lebanon can rid itself of Hezbollah, the next time Iran needs a distraction Hezbollah will be there to start another war, and Lebanon will be the battleground. The Israeli government of Prime Minister Ehud Olmert and his Kadima Party was elected to withdraw from the West Bank settlements, a move that now will not happen in the near future. Israel’s government will fall at the next serious test and with it any hope of settling the Palestinian situation on the West Bank. Here the Palestinians and Israel lose.

But why is there so much hate against Israel in the Arab world? While Lebanon had a successful economy, many Arab states do not. The Israeli civilian and solider will return to a factory or farm to make microchips, watches, and other high-tech products. Israel’s farms are successful and it produces manufactured farm products as well as fresh products. Israel sells its products on the world market and is third on the list of countries with companies on the Fortune 500. In the Arab world, most people live an economic existence from day to day. In countries where oil is present, the oil revenues belong to royal families who often control banks and other major economic activities in the country leaving the common people poor and the country void of a middle class. This existence breeds hate and contempt for the U.S. and our allies, including Israel.

The Bush Plan for the Middle East is elections, but the world has seen elections and not liked the results. In Palestine, Hamas won the elections and now the U.S. will not deal with them. In Iraq, the elections have led to a low-grade civil war with over 2,600 Americans and 45,000 Iraqi civilians killed. In Afghanistan, elections have resulted in discontent in the countryside and America and NATO forces are engaged there. In Lebanon, Hezbollah holds two seats in the Lebanese cabinet thanks to elections. Under the Bush administration Islamic militancy has spread. Somalia now is under threat from radical Islamic forces. There is trouble on the border between Ethiopia and Eritrea, two of our allies in the ‘Coalition of the Willing’ (Coalition of the Bribed). Until economic prosperity and diversity is delivered to the Moslem world, you can hold elections until the cows come home, but when the last cow is eaten and poverty sets in, then the hate ferments, and as South Park’s Cartman said, “The only way to fight hate is with more hate.” As this happens the fighting and the hate will continue indefinitely.
Editors Note: The New Yorker magazine's Seymour Hersh has reported that the Bush administration was involved in planning Israeli attacks on Hezbollah fighters before the capture of the two solders and viewed the initiative as a prelude to possible U.S. bombing of Iran. The report cited unidentified current and former intelligence officers in Israel and the U.S. as well as officials in Israel and Defense Department consultants. Administration officials denied knowledge of Israel's plan for the air war in Lebanon and denied knowledge of the plans. Of course administration officials denied Hersh’s reports of Abu Ghraib prison when they appeared also.

The wages in which we pay our workers make a profound statement of who we are as a nation. The minimum wage is a promise made by our government to promote the American dream. It is an indicator of whether our economy is good or bad.

However, for minimum wage workers in 2006 things are proving difficult. For minimum wage families facing rising costs and stagnant wages, the numbers of the family budget just don't add up, and they are forced to make impossible decisions. Do I pay rent or the medical bills? Do I pay the electric bill or put gas in the car (and the price of gas is rising sharply)?

In the six years since President Bush took office, the minimum wage has remained $5.15 an hour and minimum wage workers in Georgia have been falling behind in the cost of living. Raising the federal minimum wage would directly raise the pay of 213,000 workers and benefit 688,000 workers overall in Georgia.

The federal minimum wage, currently $5.15 an hour, was last raised in 1997. Since then, its purchasing power has deteriorated by 20 percent. If Congress and the President do not raise the minimum wage by Dec. 2, 2006, it will have remained unchanged for the longest stretch since it was established in 1938. Earlier this year, Senate Republicans blocked a Democratic bill sponsored by Senator Edward Kennedy that would have raised the minimum wage to $7.25 an hour over the next two years. Before the summer recess, the Republican dominated House passed a minimum wage bill linking the issue to several Republican concerns including the estate-tax cut. The bill was defeated in the Senate 56-42.

However, the most important pay increases for most members of Congress are their own, and they are most diligent in that regard. In a floor speech supporting the minimum wage hike Senator Hillary Clinton said, “During the past nine years, we've raised our own pay by $31,600.” Senator Clinton continued, “The reality is that a full time job that pays the
minimum wage just doesn't provide enough money to support a family today. We have to acknowledge that fact and do something about it. As a country, we cannot accept that a single mother with two children who works 40 hours a week, 52 weeks a year earns $10,700 a year, let me say this again: $10,700 a year. That is almost $6,000 below the federal poverty line for a family of three.”
During the 1950's and 60's, the minimum wage was roughly 50 percent of the average wage of nonsupervisory workers. It has now fallen to 31 percent less than a third of that average. For God's sake Mr. President get behind this issue and leave out the politics. Where is the compassionate conservativism? Is asking $7.25 an hour is much to ask for our overworked, underpaid citizens?

On this coming Election Day, November 7, 2006, there are two very important items on the ballot that concern home property owners that have filed Homestead Exemption in Camden County. The items are known as Homestead Act I : ”To provide for a homestead exemption from Camden County ad valorem taxes for county purposes and Homestead Act II : To provide for a homestead exemption from Camden County School District ad valorem taxes for educational purposes in an amount equal to the amount by which the current year assessed value of that homestead exceeds the base year assessed value of that homestead…”

What these two items will do, if passed by the voters, is currently freeze the ad valorem property and school taxes and keep them from being raised so high that people will be forced to lose and/or sell their homes. No doubt, there are county official, land speculators, and realtors that will be opposed to such legislation and start up a greedy land grab campaign to force the "commoners" and natives out. To put it simply:

Georgia Senator Jeff Chapman of the 3rd District introduced the bills known as S.B. 496 and S.B. 497 into the Georgia General Assembly where they passed. Outgoing County Commissioner Sandy Feller of St. Marys district #4 has pushed the issue locally. State Representitive Cecily Hill supported this issue also. We at the Clarion Issue feel it is important to remember the elected officials that supported this ballot initiative and to remember those who did and do not.

These items definitely will effect everyone, but especially the everyday "common men and women" that own a home and are struggling to keep and own a home, raise a family, pay bills, make ends meet, and all of the other numerous things that life deals us. This means new and old families, including our military members that live off base, our retirees, people on fixed incomes, and everyone that owns a home. Families that have owned homes for years, and for people that have just bought new homes this year will be affected. One need not look very far to see how the prices have skyrocketed in the past few years.

It is important that everyone familiarizes him or herself and educates themselves about any and every item and candidate on any ballot. One does not have to vote, but we at the Clarion Issue do encourage everyone that is eligible to vote and exercise their right to do so. In this case it is obviously important that people get out and vote and protect their and their friends homes. We at the Clarion Issue will not tell anyone how to vote, but we ask that our loyal readers and everyone else do support the passage of these ballot initiatives.

NOTE: IF YOU HAVE NOT FILED HOMESTEAD EXEMPTION YET, PLEASE DO SO! IT IS YOUR OWN MONEY YOU ARE SAVING (OR SPENDING) NEEDLESSLY! Contact the Camden County Tax Assessors (located near the Courthouse in Woodbine, Georgia at (912)-576-3241 for further information on filing.)

THE THIRD, FIRST ANNUAL THATHLOTHLAGUPHKA AWARD ANNOUNCED BY THE CLARION ISSUE
By R. A. Pearson

Each year the Clarion Issue presents the Annual Thathlothlaguphka Award. The Thathlothlaguphka Award is a local award for abject stupidity, general idiocy, or total incompetence, given to a local official, body politic, or politically connected contractor or company whose actions have negatively affected the people in the area. The name Thathlothlaguphka comes from the Native American name for the St. Marys River and means “smells like rotten fish.” The Jefferson Muzzle Awards, presented by the Thomas Jefferson Center for the Protection of Free _Expression, and the Ig Nobel Prizes, presented by the Harvard Computer Society, the Harvard-Radcliffe Science Fiction Association, and the Harvard-Radcliffe Society of Physics Students, have served as the models for the Clarion Issue’s Thathlothlaguphka Award.

This year’s Thathlothlaguphka Award, ‘THE THIRD, FIRST ANNUAL THATHLOTHLAGUPHKA AWARD,’ goes the people at LandMar land development who purchased the Durango-Georgia paper mill properties (the old Gilman mill) in St. Marys, Georgia, for $42.086 million. The group planed a massive residential/ commercial complex for the 720-acre waterfront site. At the time LandMar estimated a cost of up to $5 million to clean up the property, which is affected by the presence of many hazardous substances, pollutants, and other contaminants. St Marys residents literally asked themselves, “How many retired Yankees can you put on a toxic waste dump?”

What really got LandMar the Thathlothlaguphka Award was the ‘public hearing’ staged in St. Marys that featured individuals from one of their other subdivisions and downtown residents and businessmen concerning proposed high-rises in the areas. “Not in my backyard,” and “How high is too high?” were the catch phrases of the day.” The meeting turned into a free-for-all, a sort of ‘riot in a parrot factory’ so to speak. However, it seems to be all for naught as far as the former mill site. It appears LandMar may have purchased a red herring in the mill property. The toxic waste clean up will cost way beyond the estimated $5 million. 50 years of spills, improper storage, general neglect, and inadequate and unenforced environmental regulations have left the 720-acre site in need of serious and expensive cleanup. Even the North River needs to be over hauled. The contaminated muck needs to be dredged out and replaced. So St. Marys residents need to ask themselves, “How much toxic muck could the North River chuck if the North River could chuck muck?,” and even a more serious question, “When will the real cleanup began, and who will pay for it?”

A representative of LandMar can pick up the Thathlothlaguphka Award by contacting the editor at apearson@ClarionIsh.com (please put Thathlothlaguphka Award in the subject blank of the email). The winner receives a Thathlothlaguphka Award certificate, a Clarion Issue bar stick and tee shirt, a $25 bar tab from The Island Lounge and Grill on Hwy 40, and a $25 dinner from Jimmy Jim’s Restaurant on Point Peter Rd.

Honorable mention for this year’s Third, First Annual Thatholthlaguphka Award goes to the Canadian idiots trying to build Marsh Arbors on Dilworth St. in St. Marys. They are advertising a “Gated community featuring stunning waterview 2,900+ sq. feet condominiums with oversized wrap-around terraces,” starting at around $400,000. They promise a neighborhood offering a marsh view of gorgeous sunsets, a pool & spa, immaculately landscaped grounds and a 390 ft. marsh walk with exquisite nighttime lighting. The Clarion Issue wonders if the sand gnats, mosquitoes, and yellow flies are free. The Marsh Arbors web site indicates that the Grand Opening of phase one will be on November 12, but if what we see on their web site is supposed to be built by then, they had better pour some concrete, lay some pipe, and drive more than a few nails. (The Clarion Issue believes that this project may be having some financial troubles.)

What got Marsh Arbors honorable mention for this year’s Thathlothlaguphka Award was their confrontation of a local business owner pegged for phase three. The legal fights with these people have cost him money and headaches that need not have occurred. There has also been a problem with the fence erected along the site. While ‘good fences make good neighbors’ the Marsh Arbor fence has made it difficult for emergency vehicles to make rescue calls to the nursing home in St. Marys, and the fence has also made it hard to make deliveries to the same. Maybe the nursing home property was part of phase two.

Meanwhile a quick check on last year’s honorable mention for ‘The Second, First Annual Thathlothlaguphka Award’ shows building proceeding at Cumberland Palms (a.k.a. Fiddler Flats) off North River Causeway, the ‘marsh front’ (that is gum-palmetto swamp front) property/townhomes that idiots are paying $500,000 to 850,000 a home for. While the land was great for fishing and launching small boats at high tide, the Clarion Issue still contends that it is totally unacceptable for a residential development. The development plans a private recreation center including a swimming pool that will sit on very low land with a high water table while the sand gnats and yellow flies will make the tennis courts and gazebos virtually ‘impracticable.’ The developers promise deep-water access for boats, river walks, lighthouse tours, boating and sailing, waterfront adventures, beach walks. Are these practical promises? Is there a beach or lighthouse in St. Marys?

Their web site photographs show people on a wonderful beach not the marsh/swamp grounds of fiddler flats. Go to their web site www.private-communities.org and click around if you really need a laugh. It will remind you of the line Clint Eastwood utters in the movie The Outlaw Josey Wells when he says to the old lady, “Your son told you this was out there?”

But good news for those of you that bought a lot at ‘fiddler flats.’ They are working on the drainage now and at that low elevation when the first tropical storm shows up (much less a Katrina like category 4 storm) you will need it. As Robert Sheffield, a local surveyor, EMT, scoutmaster, and naturalist (now deceased) once said, “I’ve lived here a long time and when a person sees a cypress tree in his back yard it should be telling him something.” Meanwhile, here at the Clarion Issue we recommend all Cumberland Palms or ‘fiddler flats’ residents take out some good flood insurance. In the meantime, there is nothing like a $650,000 home next to a former landfill/trash dump, the current police firing range, and an active sewage treatment plant and just across the river from a shut down dilapidated toxic waste dump paper mill! As they say in the movies, “Good night and good luck.”

Farts to the City fathers (and mothers to be PC) of Woodbine for continually stonewalling Captain Stan’s Beer and Wine license. As developers are trying to turn Camden County into a retirement center, the ‘good ol’ boys and gals are trying to keep it in the dark ages with antiquated blue laws only espoused by the Jerry Falwells and Pat Robertsons of the world. Camden County lost an Olive Garden near I-95 due to such nearsighted nonsense by our political leaders; how much more tax revenue and prestige are we going to lose as our leaders try to keep us in the medieval era?

Farts to the lawnmower race in St. Marys on the 4th of July. The parade contains every politician, beauty queen, and civic group riding instead of walking and every fire engine, ambulance, antique car and tractor, and everything else burning gas in an era when everyone is paying lip service to ‘cutting back.’ Did we really need to burn gas for a lawnmower race?

Florals to the good folks at the Woodbine Opry, bringing good entertainment to folks for free on most Friday and Saturday nights. BBQ Dinners are available on site for a reasonable price. Check out their website www.woodbineopry.com .

Farts to the concept that county commissioners run in party primaries. Local elections should be nonpartisan so all local voters can vote in all elections.

Florals to Mr. Crump at Crump’s Barber Shop on Osborne St. in St. Marys who repairs vacuum cleaners during his spare time at the shop. In a world of throwaway products it is good to see someone that still repairs products and saves hard working people money.

Farts to Comcast and various local satellite dish carriers for not including any Georgia stations in their packages. This omission creates a Georgia state news vacuum in this area making it hard to follow important state economic, political, social, and environmental issues. While Comcast does carry Georgia Public Television, a few more commercial channels, maybe one from Savannah, one from Macon, and two from Atlanta, would be nice. It would also be nice if Comcast had a person on duty in their local office on weekends. Thunderstorms and cable problems do occur on weekends as well as 9-5 on weekdays!

And Finally Farts to the US Senate. Earlier this year this august body of lawmakers voted to build a 750-mile fence along the US/Mexican border but later voted against funding the building of the fence. Do you know how the two Senators from Georgia (Saxby Chambliss and Johnny Isakson ) voted on these issues? If you do not live in Georgia, how did your senators vote?

If you disagree with any of our awards or Farts or Florals please remember the words of Mark Twain, “It is the differences of opinions that make horse races.”

"BRING 'EM ON" A CLARION ISSUE WAR UPDATE

CASUALTIES AS OF AUGUST 23, 2006
US SERVICE PERSONNEL KILLED IN IRAQ ………. 2,611
US SERVICE PERSONNEL WOUNDED IN IRAQ ……….. 19,275
US SERVICE PERSONNEL KILLED IN AFGHANISTAN…….. 327

*THE PENTAGON REPORTS THAT AT LEAST 8,000 US SERVICE PERSONNEL HAVE DESERTED SINCE THE START OF THE WAR IN IRAQ.

A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Hey, I haven't seen
you in a while. What happened? You look terrible."

"What do you mean?" said the pirate, "I feel fine."

"What about the wooden leg?" the bartender asked. "You didn't have that before."

"Well, we were in a battle and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I’m fine now" said the pirate.

"Well, OK, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?" asked the
bartender.

"We were in another battle," replied the pirate. "I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight and my hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook. I'm fine, really."

So the bartender asked, "What about that eye patch?"

The pirate replies, "Oh, one day we were at sea, and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up and one of them squirted in my eye."

"You're kidding, " said the bartender, "you couldn't lose an eye just from bird droppings."

The pirate responded, "It was my first day with the hook."

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?" She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him." The defense attorney almost died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the electric chair."

LOONY’S CORNER- A southern term for Cluny’s Corner, the Clarion Issue column written by the editor’s dog, Cluny. Cluny is named after the great McPherson clan chieftain not the McPherson clan scotch.

MU/SACK REVIEWS- A call/um (column) in the Claritin Issue that reviews a lot of that thar hippy, yankee, anti-American, mu/sack and hardly ever mentions that good ol’ country mu/sack.

SPEAKIN’ SOUTHERN- A call/um in the Claritin that learnifies the rest of the world know how to speak properly.

Lester: “I never knowed you to read the Claritin, Elvira. What do you like? The music reviews or the history’s currents?”

Elvira: “Shucks Lester, I ain’t gona read the thang. I need it to put in the bottom of Chippy Chippy’s cage. It’s sho’ nuff just the right size for a bird cage bottom.”

Charlene: “Bubba, I thin’ it’s Cluny’s Corner. Why did that editor name his dog after that actor feller any way? Is he one of them there liberals?”

Bubba: “I don’t recon so Charlene. Cluny is a brand of scotch. I seen it at the liquor store the other day when I was a buyin’ some ‘store bought’ liquor. I seen the editor of the Claritin there too.”

Bubba: “He said, ‘Good night and good luck.’ Ya know, like in the movie.”

* * * * *
Tommy Ray- “Slim, you a readin’ the Claritin Tissue? Where did ya a get it?”

Slim- “I picked it up at Jimmy Jim’s. They’s an article here on harry/cains (hurricanes) and such and the elections a coming up.”

Slim- “Naw, he’s to busy a makin’ up excuses to do somethin’ constructive.”

"We do not use the content of communications to decide which communications we want to study the content of."
Gen. Michael Hayden

REPUBLICAN BLOODLETTING, TELECAMPAIGNING, AND PRIMARY WRAP UP
By R. A. Pearson

Hello, my name is ____(fill in the blank with Ralph Reed, Casey Cagle, Brian Kemp, Gary Black, etc.) and I’m a conservative Republican running for ____ (fill in with Lt. Gov., Agriculture Commissioner, Commissioner of Labor, etc.) and I would…. How many calls like this did you receive during the last primary season? I counted at least 30! I even received a call from Zig Zag Zell Miller (I thought he was a retired Democrat, but he got the name Zig Zag somewhere) and two calls from Atlanta Braves pitcher John Smoltz. Smoltz would not shut up long enough for me to ask for an autographed baseball card. Furthermore, just when I thought it was over, the calls came in concerning the run-off elections scheduled for August 8th. Some of the calls came from marketers as far away as Oklahoma. It seems that the Georgia Republicans would have at least kept their business in the state!

The Republican Party now assumes they have total control of Georgia and are fighting each other for the spoils. In cases where a one-party state exists, elections center around personalities, not issues. Is this where Georgia is heading? While Georgians traditionally love a dirty, mud slinging campaign, what is now referred to as ‘negative campaigning,’ this Republican primary went way too far!

The major telecampainging insults, along with the most colorful campaign mailings that crowded our mailboxes, occurred in the race between Lt. Gov. hopefuls Ralph Reed and Casey Cagle. Ralph Reed was making his first run for elective office after working for years leading the Christian Coalition and as a behind-the-scenes campaign strategist for the state Republican Party. He ran the 2004 Bush campaign in the Southeast but was tied to scandals surrounding mega-lobbyist Jack Abramoff. Reed was accused of accepting more than $5.3 million from two Indian tribes in gambling related funds. Reed’s loss in the primary ends his rise to the presidency. He had hoped to be Lt. Gov. in 2006, Governor in 2010 and run for the presidency during the next decade. Reed’s mother, Marcy Reed, once said, “I used to tell people he was going to be either President of the United States or Al Capone. Whatever he did, he was really good at it.” Well Mrs. Reed, it looks like he ain’t gonna be president. What as that other option again?

As far as telecampaigning goes, the state and federal governments need to stretch the “Do not call list” to include telecampainging. Of course, they will rebuild the 9th Ward in New Orleans with Graceland style mansions before that happens.

In the Republican Primary race for Governor incumbent Sonny Perdue got a little shock when opposition candidate Ray McBerry, a ‘flagger’ (someone who wants the promised vote on the old Georgia flag), took 12% of the Republican vote. Sonny will face Democratic candidate Mark Taylor, ‘the Big Guy,’ from Albany in November. Taylor defeated Cathy Cox, the Georgia Sec. of State, and two others for the Democratic nomination.

Sonny may face an uphill battle in November. There are 300,000 ‘Sonny Lied’ signs out there compliments of some flagger and the Democratic Primary attracted a lot of voters. Perdue is also unpopular with many teachers. Perdue and the Republicans have cut $1 billion in education funds even though tax revenues are up in the Peach state. Teachers have only received a 4% raise in 4 years. Worst of all, Georgia has at least a 40% drop out rate and is accused in some circles of cooking the books to keep the figure that low. Education Trust Magazine, a highly respected educational publication, reports that Georgia is one of the many states fudging statistics on dropouts by not counting certain non-English speaking, minority, and Special Ed students. The move to oust Democratic governor Roy Barnes in 2002 was led by upset ‘flaggers’ and teachers. Perdue may see the same forces lined up against him in November. Mad people tend to vote.

Outside Atlanta Democratic Congresswoman Cynthia ‘Assault with a deadly cell phone’ McKinney was forced into a runoff against Hank Johnson. McKinney took 47% of the vote while Johnson got 44% in Georgia’s 4th Congressional District. In a bitter runoff on August 8th, Johnson won 59 % to 41 %. This proves that the ‘lunatic fringe’ has not totally seized control of the Democratic Party as of yet.

An e-mail from Jack Abramoff to partner Michael Scanlon about Reed's billing practices and expenditure claims.

A convenience store clerk in Ft. Pierce, Florida, was arrested and held without bail after he attacked a 14-year-old boy for not buying a yo-yo. The incident occurred in a convenience store on North 17th Street that sells snacks, cold beer singles and T-shirts with such logos as the Pillsbury ‘dope boy.’ The store's hand written exterior sign reads “Friendly (sic) Meat & Grocery.” However, Amar Shreiteh, the 24-year-old clerk at the store on July 10, 2006, forgot to be ‘freindly.’

Shreiteh was working at the store the morning of the 10th when Jeremius Howard came in with his sister. According to a police report, as the girl selected snacks to buy, Jeremius played with a yo-yo in the store. After his sister paid for the items, the boy put down the toy and started to leave the store. Police said Shreiteh demanded that he pay for the yo-yo, but Jeremius told him it was already opened and he didn't want it. Shreiteh then punched the boy, pulled him behind the counter, and stabbed him on the back of his arm with a butcher knife.

Another clerk at the store, 41-year-old Azzam Sabla, was a little more ‘freindly’ and tried to stop Shreiteh. Shreiteh stabbed Sabla in his forearm.

The boy was treated at Lawnwood Regional Medical Center & Heart Institute and released.

Sabla remained hospitalized in critical condition for a time and was later released.

Shreiteh was denied bail and is being held at the St. Lucie County Jail on charges of attempted murder and false imprisonment on Howard and aggravated battery on Sabla.

According to one customer (who called himself ‘Odd Ball’ and wore a Kelly’s Heroes T- Shirt) at the “Freindly Meat & Grocery” interviewed by the Clarion Issue after the ruckus Shreiteh “definitely had anger management issues, man.” We would like to report, however, that there is no truth to the rumor that the store is changing its name to the “Unfreindly Meat & Grocery.”

An estimated 5,000-gallon oil spill in the Savannah River reported on July 17, 2006, had the potential of threatening hundreds of federally protected brown pelicans that inhabit the river’s estuary. Early reports from the emergency specialist with the Georgia Environmental Protection Division indicated that nearly 50 birds had been spotted with their feathers coated with oil and were in danger of death if they got the oil on their beaks and swallowed it.

The team had counted 246 brown pelicans along the Savannah River on the Georgia-South Carolina state line in danger from the oil spill. While the pelicans are no longer listed as an endangered species in Georgia, they are still protected as migratory birds. They were seen perched along the river's banks during a wildlife assessment on the 12-miles of waterway where the oil spread from Savannah to Tybee Island on the coast.

However, this story had a happy ending. The spill was spotted early and a steady northeast wind kept the spill mostly in the river instead of allowing it to reach the estuary. Another lucky break occurred when there were no ships in port near Elba Island, around which some of the heaviest concentrations of oil were pooled, allowing better access for cleanup. The Coast Guard and other agencies did a remarkable job in controlling and cleaning up the oil spill.

After the initial report of a significant number of brown pelicans being coated by oil, a closer look prompted the Department of Natural Resources to lower its estimate of birds affected to about 1% of the bird population. Jeff Barnes, a DNR environmental specialist, was optimistic that the area would make a positive recovery. “We've haven't had any reports of dead or dying birds, and we can still see terns fishing in the river. That's a good sign,” he said.

Barber Fertilizer Company, a long time advertiser and supporter of the Clarion Issue, was robbed on July 22, 2006. Barber Fertilizer is located at 1011 Airport Road, just off Spring Creek Road, in Bainbridge, Georgia. At about 2 a.m. night watchman Floyd Miller came out of the guard shack and came face to face with two armed assailants.

Each assailant had a large chef's knife and rushed Miller whom they handcuffed with handcuffs they brought with them. They took Miller back into the guard shack and told him, “We are serious about this and we want to know where the money and keys are.” They also told him they had a gun and they intended to take him with them when they left. The two men then ransacked the guard shack and found $45. They pulled out the phone lines and led Miller across the lot to the offices of Barber Fertilizer. Miller said one assailant had a hood and the other wore glasses. They continued to look down and not directly at him. He explained to them police came by every hour and spoke with him so they could not take him with them. Floyd Miller also told them he would cooperate with them.

After the two broke into the main office, they told Miller they were going to take the safe. Miller told them they would need a helicopter to get that heavy safe out of the building. They then ordered Miller to work on getting the safe open and went to ransack the rest of the building. Miller indicated that after a few minutes everything became quiet. He looked out the window and saw them speed out of the parking lot in a company truck that had been parked in front of the guard shack.

Miller then located a phone that had not been ripped from the wall and called 911. The robbers were described as two black males dressed in dark bulky clothes approximately 5 feet 10 inches in height.

Bainbridge Police and Decatur County Sheriff’s Deputies responded to the call but have not made an arrest in the case. The stolen vehicle was recovered a few days later abandoned in a residential area just behind a local all night breakfast restaurant on Shotwell Street (Bainbridge’s “Hamburger Drag”). Police took fingerprints and other evidence from the truck. The truck is sometimes driven by the owner’s daughter, Rosalyn Barber. Rosalyn Barber wrote the article on Cathy Cox in the last Clarion Issue.

“The Mississippi delta shining like a national guitar” on June 30, 2006, as President Bush's and Japanese Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi ‘took the pilgrimage’ as southerners say to Elvis’ Graceland mansion in Memphis, Tennessee. For Koizumi, a long time supporter of Bush in the War on Terror and a longer time Elvis fan, it was a dream come true.

President Bush and Prime Minister Koizumi were given a guided tour of the mansion/museum by the singer’s ex-wife Priscilla and daughter Lisa Maria. At one time in the world famous Jungle Room, the Prime Minister donned Elvis glasses and did renditions of “Love Me Tender," "Fools Rush In," and "I Want You, I Need You, I Love You."

The leaders saw what most visitors see: the Jungle Room, the glossy black baby-grand piano near the living room's white, 15-foot sofa, Elvis’ badge given to him by President Nixon when Elvis dropped in on the White House in 1970, and hundreds of gold records, outfits and guitars in the home's museums. They also got to see other areas off limits to most visitors.

The tour ended with a news conference where Koizumi thanked Bush and everyone for the tour in the Elvis way saying, “Thank you. Thank you very much.” After the tour the leaders adjourned for a special BBQ meal prepared by the Graceland staff.

Koizumi’s performance in the jungle room made news clips all over TV in this day of 24/7 news services. One network that happened to be interviewing Charlie Daniels on another matter asked the country star about Koizumi’s Elvis impersonations. Daniels’ quipped, “I hope he doesn’t quit his Prime Minister job.”

However, that is just the case. Koizumi is leaving office in Japan. As President Bush and Koizumi were romping in the Jungle Room, Japanese troops, all 550 of them, were pulling out of Iraq. The troops were engaged in reconstruction and humanitarian work, and no Japanese soldiers had been killed or wounded in Iraq. It appears the United States has lost another ally in the ‘Coalition of the Bribed’ in Iraq.

On June 22, 2006, E. Forbes Smiley III, 50, of Martha’s Vineyard, Mass., pleaded guilty to one count of theft of major artwork in connection with the theft of a map from Yale University. He admitted taking a total of 97 maps worth an estimated $2.38 million over eight years from various institutions, including the New York and Boston public libraries, the Newberry Library in Chicago, the Harvard University library and the British Library in London. The oldest maps dated back to the 1500s.

The 50-year-old map collector was arrested on June 8, 2005, after a razor blade was found at Yale University’s Beinecke Rare Book and Manuscript Library, where Smiley cut a world map from Gerard de Jode's atlas, "Speculum Orbis Terrarum." Smiley was arrested outside the library with the map and six other historic maps. He was released after posting $50,000 bond and he later pleaded guilty to three larceny charges in state court in connection with the Yale map thefts.

A thorough investigation of E. Forbes Smiley III showed that he had been mapnapping for eight years. His collection included a map of the New World drawn by Hernando Cortez in 1524, a map of New England from 1624, a map of Louisiana after the Louisiana Purchase in 1803, a world map from 1520 from the British Library, a map from France recognizing the US for the first time, and a world map modeled after one drawn by Flemish cartographer Abraham Ortelius that Smiley had cut from Richard Hakluyt's popular English travel log. The purloined world map from de Jode’s atlas was valued at about $150,000.

Smiley faces nearly six years in prison on the federal charge and will have to pay restitution. The amount has not yet been determined. Sentencing on the federal charge is scheduled for September 21; he also faces up to five years on the state charges.

HOUDINI SURVIVES A CLOSE CALL
A 12-foot (60 pound) Burmese python named Houdini swallowed an entire queen-size electric blanket complete with the electrical cord and control box along with his dinner sometime on the 16th or 17th of July 2006. The electric blanket helped keep the snake warm and the blanket must have become entangled with the snake’s meal dujour, a bunny. Just to demonstrate that Houdini lives up to his name, the python even managed to unplug the electric blanket as he swallowed the control box.
Houdini’s owner Karl Beznoska took the snake to Veterinarian Karsten Fostvedt of the St. Francis Pet Clinic in Ketchum, Idaho. X-rays showed the tangle of the blanket's wiring extending through about 8 feet of the python's digestive tract. On July 18th Fostvedt and fellow veterinarian Barry Rathfon performed surgery on Houdini with advice from other vets. The surgery to remove the blanket and control took two hours and an 18-inch incision in Houdini.

The veterinarians said afterward that Houdini’s “… prognosis is great.” It did take Houdini several days for his anesthesia to wear off, because snakes have a slow metabolism.

Specialists at the Left Coast University of California-Davis School of Veterinary Medicine said Houdini probably would have died without the operation.

More than 25 years ago, Cuong Ly fled Viet-Nam. He managed to fulfill the American dream and opened a restaurant, the China Rose, in Freeport, Maine. He installed a tank of koi in the China Rose and has fed and cared for the fish for 15 years.

During mid-July, Maine game wardens received a tip that the fish in Ly's tank were illegal. Toward the end of July, they approached Ly, warning him that the fish were not welcome in the state of Maine. The very next day, another warden came by armed with a video camera and issued Ly a summons. In the midst of the lunch rush, Ly had little time for the warden's nonsense. Then on the morning of July 19, armed law enforcement agents stormed the China Rose and seized Ly's koi.

Ly honestly said, “We thought they were joking. We had these fish for years and we didn't take them serious. These are like my children. I clean the tank every other week, keep them nice and healthy, clean and happy. As long as the fish are happy, I'm happy, and I do good business.” He added, “ It looked like they were raiding the place for illegal drugs.”

The wardens rushed the koi across their sole state line into New Hampshire to the Little Shop of Pets in Portsmouth, which agreed to let Ly buy back his own fish. He plans to send the koi to stay with relatives in Boston, Massachusetts. Ly has been charged with importing freshwater fish without a permit and could be fined up to $10,000.

A spokesperson for the Maine Warden Service explained that koi can grow to be very large and when they out grow of their indoor habitat, they may be taken to a lake or a river or stream. Then you have an invasive species that can compete with the native fish.

Entomologists and pest control professionals are reporting major comeback for a forgotten pest. Bedbug infestations have increased throughout the country, and no one knows exactly why. The bugs have been absent from the U.S. for so long, some believed they were a myth.

Bedbugs are tiny brown, flat insects that feed exclusively on the blood of animals and humans. Their bites can be extremely irritating, especially when trying to sleep; however, unlike mosquitoes, they are not known to transmit blood-borne diseases from one victim to another.

Before World War II, bedbug infestations were common in the U.S., especially in the South, but they were virtually eradicated through improvements in hygiene, window screens, air conditioning, and the widespread use of insecticide. Scientists believe that increase of international travel and immigration may be partially to blame for the new invasion of bedbugs. The tiny pests may be hitching a ride in the luggage or clothing of travelers.

In the past four years, reports of bedbugs have significantly increased in many U.S. cities, from New York to Atlanta, especially in hotels, hospitals and college dormitories. All these places have a high turnover of residents. The country’s pest control companies indicate that the number of bedbug reports have increased fivefold in four years. The Atlanta branch of Terminix saw no cases of bedbugs in 2004 and only three or four last year. But in the first six months of 2006, Terminix reported 23 new cases.

The World

NEW OO7 HAVING TROUBLE ON THE SET: WILL HE ‘BOND OR BOMB’

Daniel Craig, actor portraying Ian Fleming’s classic spy, James Bond 007, in the upcoming movie Casino Royale, has already failed to make the grade as a tough guy in the eyes of many movie buffs following the filming of the movie. The 2006 movie is the first official release of the Fleming thriller, although the movie was made for TV in 1954 and released in spoof form in 1967.

Craig’s Bond career began badly. Early in the filming of the movie in Prague, a villain knocked out two of his teeth in his first fight scene. Craig was flown to London for dental surgery to repair the damage to his teeth. He was dubbed “James Bland” by some British tabloids for failing to match up to tough guys Sean Connery, Roger Moore and Pierce Brosnan. This was certainly a bomb for the new 007, a man supposedly with a ‘license to kill.’

Another of Craig’s Bond debacles also came to light later in the filming of the movie when word leaked out that the actor could not drive a stick shift, and everyone knows that the ‘Bondmobile,’ a specially-built Aston Martins DBS V12 worth £245,000 (almost $450,000) is a stick shift. So the ‘new James Bond’ was off to drivers school- with his dry martinis (shaken, not stirred), Walther PPK, and all the spy paraphernalia ‘Q’ could muster.

The Aston Martin has been a Bond staple since the series began in the 1960s. One source for the film said, “These are easily the most amazing James Bond cars yet.” Aston Martin described the car as “explosive power in a black tie.” The car is a special edition V12 Aston and was specially created for the new 007 Daniel Craig. Experts say it cost at least $410,000. The four customized cars, which can do 0-100km/h in four seconds, had special pistons built underneath to flip them at the Millbrook Vehicle Proving Ground in Bedford. On one day of shooting a high-speed Alpine chase the director and film crew of Casino Royale wrecked three of the Aston Martins. The Aston Martin DBS's were flipped over onto their roofs during the chase scenes. That is over $1.2 million worth of cars destroyed in one afternoon of filming. But,of course, it is a Bond film, and it seems that money is no object for the creators of the much-anticipated flick.

Casino Royale was Ian Fleming’s first James Bond novel. The film marks Daniel Craig’s debut as the suave superspy and was not a popular choice among some diehard Bond fans who don't believe he's up to the job. But former James Bond actor Roger Moore came to Craig's defense saying, “He’s a hell of a good actor. Give him a chance.” Casino Royale, which also stars Eva Green and Judi Dench, has been hyped as the darkest Bond film of them all and will show 007 becoming a spy and getting his license to kill.

Craig, 37, was born in Chester, England, and grew up in Liverpool. He went to London at 16 and studied at the National Youth Theater. He graduated from Guildhall School of Music and Drama. His film début was in the Power of One starring Morgan Freeman in 1992. His other movies have included: Fateless (2006), Infamous (2006), Munich (2005), The Jacket (2005), The Trench (2000), and Obsession (1997).

Knocked out teeth, can’t drive a stick, wrecking three Aston Martins in one scene- oh well Bond lovers, thank heavens for special affects to cover up these atrocities. Will this Bond bomb or bond? The box office will tell. Casino Royale will be released in mid- November, and Columbia studios and director Martin Campbell are hoping it will not be a ‘turkey.’

BARRY MANILOW MUSIC USED TO CLEAR PARK DOWN UNDER

The city council of Rockdale, a suburb of Sydney, Australia, began a six-month trial of high-volume hits by Barry Manilow and Doris Day designed to chase away car enthusiasts who were gathering on weekend nights at Cook Park Reserve. However, the use of loud Barry Manilow music to drive away late-night revelers from the park is getting on the nerves of nearby residents.

Rockdale Deputy Mayor Bill Saravinovski told media sources that, “Barry's our secret weapon. It seems to be working.” However, some people living near the park are less than enthusiastic about the project. They say the barrage of "Copacabana," "Could It Be Magic," "Mandy," and "Que Sera Sera," blasting from 9 p.m. to midnight every Friday, Saturday and Sunday is driving them crazy.

Moya Dunn, a local resident, said, “I don't know how I will cope. I just can't sleep when it's on, and to think there's going to be another six months of this.”

While Officials have given in a little, agreeing to turn down the volume a bit after residents complained, they have not seemed fit to cancel the late night “concerts.” “The initial reaction was that they found it irritating,” Saravinovski said. “I'm not disputing what the residents are saying. Even I can't swallow some of the tracks like "Mandy." We have tried to reduce the sound and we are reviewing the songs. I don't mind Barry Manilow, but I'm more of an ABBA and Celine Dion fan.”

The ‘Downunder Manilow-Mandy’ move is somewhat reminiscent of the 1989 U.S. armed forces efforts to drive former Panama strongman Manuel Noriega from the Vatican Embassy in Panama City where he had taken refuge during the American invasion of that country. The U.S. soldiers blasted hard rock music and news bulletins about Panama at the Vatican Embassy in attempt to drive Noriega from the embassy. Noriega eventually surrendered and was forced to stand trial in America on drug charges.

WORLD CHOCOLATE SUPPLY UNDER THREAT FROM DISEASE

Try to imagine a world without chocolate. No boxes of chocolate candy on St. Valentine’s Day, no quick fix of energy by a chocolate candy bar at 3:30 in the afternoon, no chocolate Girl Scout cookies, no chocolate flavors of coffee at Starbucks, and no chocolate to give up for Lent. Unless several plant diseases that have all but wiped out the cocao plants in South America are held in check, the future generations of the world may never savor the sweet taste of chocolate.

Three plant fungal diseases lead the assault on the cocao plant, the source of the world’s chocolate supply. The diseases are witches broom, black pod, and frosty pod. Black pod is found world wide, but the appearance of frosty pod and witches broom in South America have devastated the chocolate crops on that continent. If these diseases make their way to Africa, which produces half the world's cocoa, it would be catastrophic. Millions of Africans depend upon the crop, and the $80 billion world chocolate industry may be at risk.

It is thought that the cocao fungi are spread by people who grow the cocao traveling from place to place. Scientists are trying to beat the diseases by developing plants that can resist the devastating illness.

Advances have been made in protecting the cacao crop against disease. Scientists from the Agricultural Research Service (ARS) claim to have located the genetic markers that help cocao resist disease. The scientists found the markers for resistance to witches broom; a disease caused by the fungus Moniliophthora perniciosa, the main killer of Theobroma cacao trees. The findings were presented earlier this year at the biennial symposium on cocoa. The information could help cocoa farmers tackle the list of diseases that endanger chocolate supplies. This development followed news in the later half of last year that the fungal pathogens causing witches' broom and frosty pod may be linked. That discovery was made by molecular biologist Cathie Aime who analyzed the plant's DNA.

Current research on cacao diseases and new ideas concerning the use of genetics to aid in the resistance and management of cocoa tree and pod diseases were discussed during the joint annual meeting of The American Phytopathological Society, The Canadian Phytopathological Society, and The Mycological Society of America held in Quebec, Canada, in late July, 2006.

Frosty pod and witches broom, combined with black pod, would devastate cacoa production in West Africa, where almost 70 per cent of all cocoa production occurs. Experts believe that if either frosty pod or witches broom escapes to Africa either disease would reduce African yields by one million metric tons per year. Unless these diseases are checked chocolate may be a footnote in history, become extremely expensive, or maybe even made synthetically from peanuts and cottonseed.

Editor’s Note: The American Phytopathological Society (APS), and various related organizations will present the 2006 National Soybean Rust Symposium between November 29 and December 1, 2006 at the Adam’s Mark Hotel in St. Louis, Missouri. The APS is a scientific society dedicated to the study and control of plant disease.

AUSSIE SLANG BIBLE CAUSES SENSATION DOWN UNDER

The popular Aussie Bible series, published by the Bible Society of New South Wales, has published volume two of its bible series told in Australian slang. Since volume two, entitled More Aussie Bible, covers the book of Genesis the creation story is told as, “Out of the blue God knocked up the whole bang lot.... God said ‘let's have some light’ and bingo – light appeared.”

Australian slang, known as Strine, helped sell 100,000 copies of the Aussie Bible. The books are published in about 100 page increments and cover Old and New Testament books and topics in the same book, much like a child’s Bible storybook would. However, the language and sometimes the setting are distinctly “Aussie.” In the story of Joseph, when his jealous brothers sell him into slavery and tell their father he was been killed by a wild beast, Joseph's father Jacob cries out his son has been killed saying, “Maybe a dingo got my boy!” In More Aussie Bible, Psalm 23, a Psalm recognizable to even the most pagan of us, begins “God is the station [ranch] owner, and I am just one of the sheep. He musters me down to the lucerne flats, and feeds me there all week.”

This second volume of the Aussie slang Bible focuses on the Books of Genesis, Proverbs, and the Gospel of John. This includes the story of Adam and Eve. More Aussie Bible tells the story of the first couple this way. “There was this sheila who came across a snake-in-the-grass with all the cunning of a con man. The snake asked her why she didn't just grab lunch off the tree in her garden. God, she said, had told her she'd be dead meat if her fruit salad came from that tree, but the snake told her she wouldn't die. So she took a good squiz [look] and then a bite and passed the fruit on to her bloke. Right then and there, they'd realized what they'd done and felt starkers [naked].”

Kel Richards, the man who translated, or ‘reinterpreted,’ the Aussie Bible, says it has proven particularly popular among chaplains working in prisons and hospitals. “It's accessible. It's not a big black book the size of a telephone directory.”

Not everyone is happy with the sometimes irreverent but always entertaining, rendering of the Good News into the vernacular known as, supposedly the sound Aussies make when they speak “Australian.” Many critics feel the novelty of the Aussie Bible will wear off and sales will decline. The Bible Society of New South Wales has received about 30 letters of complaint including some hate mail about the series.

The Clarion Issue could not resist sending one of our cub reporters to our favorite public opinion sampling spot, the Lumber City Mal-Mart, to read a few selections, in his fake “Aussie” accent, and get a reading on the Aussie Bible series from the true buckle of the Bible belt. One old timer said, “Son, I’m just glad ‘Frasier’ is off the air; ‘cause, if I had to listen to Daphne walk around the apartment quoting that there scripture in that accent like you using, I’d shoot the TV. And I sho ‘nuff hope that insurance lizard don’t start quotin’ any of that scripture.”

RED CHINA LINKS DALAI LAMA TO CIA

In late July an official Beijing commentary accused the Dalai Lama of collaborating with the Central Intelligence Agency. The accusation rejects the Tibetan Buddhist leader's overtures of a proposed "Middle Way" policy, which would give autonomy but not independence for Tibet. The Chinese accusation cast a long shadow over any fence-mending talks of the area called the ‘Roof top of the world.’

The fourteenth and current Dalai Lama (Tenzin Gyatso) fled his home in Lhasa, Tibet, in 1959 after a failed uprising against Chinese rule. At the age of 24, he and a small party of followers hiked over the Himalayan Mountains into India.

The Chinese say the Dalai Lama participated in a Bay of Pigs style invasion of Tibet where CIA trained guerrillas were parachuted into Tibet and waged an unsuccessful campaign against the Communists. American involvement only ended in 1968 as detente between the two giants began. The Chinese contend that the CIA trained up to 400 Tibetan exiles at military bases in Colorado, Okinawa and Guam after the Dalai Lama fled into exile as part of a U.S.-funded guerrilla war against China. The commentary accused the Dalai Lama of building a rebel army in Nepal, and setting up offices and organizations abroad that have fanned separatism in Tibet.

However, spokesmen for the Tibetan government in exile insist the "Middle Way" ideal remains the best policy to resolve the Tibetan issue. He said, “We still hope the Chinese leaders in their wisdom will soon realize and understand that the Middle Way or autonomous approach is the best means to protect the interests of China and the cultural identity of the Tibetan people."

But Chinese leaders reject the claim. They indicate, "It is easy for one to see the Dalai Lama's ulterior motive: eventually seeking Tibetan independence. If the Dalai Lama is sincere in improving ties with the central government, he needs, first and foremost, to have an objective understanding of the political reality in Tibet."

The Dalai Lama was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 1989.

TEA TIME DISRUPTS ISRAELI-HEZBOLLAH WAR

As the fighting was ending in the 33-day Israeli-Hezbollah war, Israeli armored troops moved into the southern Lebanese town of Marjayoun. The troops found and seized a lightly armed Lebanese garrison commanded by Brig. Gen. Adnan Daoud. The Lebanese force did not resist and the Israeli force moved in and detained the Lebanese force. General Daoud then served tea to the Israeli officers.
During the tea, which was videotaped, Daoud had a unique exchange with the Israeli officers:
Daoud: “Don’t we need to tell our bosses?”
Israeli officer: “Tell whoever you want.”
Daoud: “We need to brief them on what happened.”
Israeli officer: “We briefed (U.S. President) Bush. You brief whoever you want.”
Daoud: “We need to brief Bush too.”

The videotape of Daoud having tea and later walking with Israeli officers in the base courtyard was aired on Israeli television and later carried by a Lebanese TV station. The incident got Daoud arrested by Interior Minister Ahmad Fatfat (yes folks, you read it right).

Current Lebanese law forbids any dealings with Israel because a state of war still exists between the two countries despite the Armistice Agreement of 1949. Lebanese citizens who have dealings with Israelis are subject to arrest and prosecution. A person cannot enter Lebanon if his or her passport is stamped with an Israeli stamp. The wartime tea violated this Lebanese law.

When people look at the stupidity of such laws and rules in the Middle East, sometimes you wonder how there is any peace in the area at all. Only the Mad Hatter could come up with more nonsense than these people. Here at the Clarion Issue we wish they had more broccoli and less oil in the region, then we could wash our hand of the area and be done with their idioticy.

www.barberfertilizer.com
www.stmaryssubmuseum.com

The Southern Calendar

SEPTEMBER

Labor Day Kingsland Catfish Festival, Kingsland, Ga.

Food, Parade, Music, and more. www.kingsbay.net click on festivals

Early Sept. Chevrolet Monte Carlo 400 at Richmond, Va. www.nascar.com

Third weekend in Sept Bainbridge Bikefest at Bainbridge, Ga.

Bikes and music………. Bainbridge, Ga. is in Southwest Ga. on Hwy 84.

www.bainbridgegachamber.com click on festivals

Warwick, Ga. Casi Chili and Rib Cookoff www.gritsfest.com or

email vann@gritsfest.com

OCTOBER

All month Octoberfest at Helen, Ga.

A German celebration in the Alpine Village of North Georgia. 800-858-8027

e-mail info@helenga.org http://www.helenga.org/

First weekend Rock Shrimp Festival at St. Marys. Ga.

A small town festival serving Rock Shrimp. Crafts, food, entertainment. On the coast on the Ga/Fla boundary. www.stmaryswelcome.com/events .

Mid October Biketoberfest at Daytona, Fla. www.biketoberfest.com & www.bketoberfest.org

Third weekend Alabama 500 at Talladega Superspeedway, Talladega, Ala. www.nascar.com

NOVEMBER

First Saturday

Mule Day at Calvary, Ga.

A small town country festival. Mules, food, parade, arts & crafts etc. Located south of Cairo, Ga. (229- 377-3636). www.bainbridgegachamber.com click on festivals

Second weekend

Battle of Secessionville, S.C.

A Civil War reenactment at Secessionville, S.C. The reenactment is at Boone Hall Plantation outside Charleston, S.C. E-mail marlow616@aol.com . Reenactment info and history of the battle is part of the Civil War @ Charleston web site.

Pennzoil 400 Homestead-Miami Speedway outside Miami, Fla www.nascar.com

Third weekend

NAPA 500 at Atlanta Motor Speedway Atlanta, Ga. www.nascar.com

Saturday after Thanksgiving Swine Time at Climax, Ga.

A small town country festival serving all types of food including pork. Arts & crafts, 5-K run, parade entertainment. Climax, Ga. is located between Bainbridge and Thomasville, Ga. on Hwy. 84. (229-246-0910) www.swinetimefestival.com or www.bainbridgegachamber.com click on festivals

TO PLACE YOUR TOWN’S EVENT ON THE SOUTHERN CALENDAR
Email the information to: apearson@ClarionIsh.com