CLUNY'S CORNER Cluny@ClarionIsh.Com

My master finally realized that I needed my own e-mail address. Most of the positive e-mail received by the Clarion Issue is about my column. He had a lot of trouble separating my good e-mail from the 'you guys are idiots' e-mails being sent in by readers around the South. The major reason my master did not want me to have e-mail was he said we might get a virus. I thought this was stupid. I'd had all my shots. I had vaccines for parvo, rabies, kennel cough, and even dis-temper. I never figured out why I needed a dis-temper shot; because, my temper is totally under control. Now I can write all my fans, and correspond with other popular doggies like Uga (the mascot of the UGA Bulldogs and star of Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil), Smokey (the mascot of the UT Volunteers) and Duke Bush who always tries to sell the Bush Beans secrets on TV.

My master and I sat down to enroll me in the ClarionIsh e-mail service. The first thing you have to do is to select a password. It has to be something you'll never forget. We considered obvious doggie words like doggie biscuit, liva-snap, bonehead, squeak toy, and more. We finally decided on a password, but we can't mention it in this article. I don't want hackers (whatever that is) reading my fan mail.

Next we had to answer some stupid questions. The first question was about my sex. What about doggies that have been 'fixed?' They had male and female, but there was not a space for 'other' or 'neuter.' The next space was for income. We decided to click 20,000; because, that is about how many doggie biscuits and liva-snaps I earn in a year fetching and playing "daddy's got the monkey and Cluny doesn't." On the next question we sort'a had to 'fib' a bit. You had to be 13 to set up an e-mail account, and I was only three years old. But that is 21 in people years, so it was only a 'little white lie.'

With all the questions answered we clicked it all in. Now I'm on line and have my own e-mail address. You can reach me at: . Hey, technology can be more fun than "dig'in up bones."