CLUNY'S CORNER Cluny@ClarionIsh.Com

CLUNY'S CORNER A DOG GONE LOOK AT THE WORLD
SURVIVOR 2004: ANOTHER PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION

Once again these United States are in the process of a presidential election, and once again, the election news, conventions, debates, and political ads are taking up important time on television and taking away all my favorite programs.

I’m amazed that my master finds who is going to be the next president more important than what will happen to Rin Tin Tin, Scooby Doo, or Wishbone. That Democratic Convention smushed my favorite TV show The Jetsons, with my hero Astro, right off the air, while the Republican Convention must have exiled Lassie to the Bush ranch out in Texas.

The debates really cause problems. Not only do they preempt important documentaries like War Dogs of WWII, and Seeing Eye Doggies: 2004, they send my master into fits of rage to a point that his girlfriend, Miss Leashemup, has to keep the phone by her all the time in case she has to dial 911. I feel that showing the Movie Going Home or Ol’ Yeller would be less divisive and cut down on heart attacks at the same time. A good showing of Ol’ Yeller would also use up a lot of tissues and that would even help the economy.

Another thing that jerks my chain is that candidates didn’t even talk about really important issues such as lowering taxes on doggy biscuits or raw hide chews. Nor do they promise free rabies shots or heart worm pills for doggies over nine years old (that’s 63 in people years). And I certainly didn’t hear any of them discuss the dismal failure rate at obedience schools. I just wished Underdog had run for president. Now there’s an honest dog that can save this country.

But, what really gets me hot under the collar about those irritating spectacles my master calls political ads. They are everywhere on TV. A new twist in the leash is those ads no one seems to sponsor. Everybody argues about them on the news and those stupid talk shows. I wish those political ads would just ‘move on’ and they would bring back those great commercials like the ones for Mighty Dog and Purina Doggy Chow. I guess my favorite ad, the one for Alpo, wound up on John Kerry’s Swift Boat to Vietnam. Maybe I should make a commercial for Scooby Snacks and end it by saying, “I’m Cluny, and I approve of this commercial.”

Personally, when all has been said and all the votes are counted, the only election that really matters is who is going to be the next dogcatcher.

Write me, Cluny@ClarionIsh.com .