CLUNY'S CORNER Cluny@ClarionIsh.Com

ANNOUNCING THE CLUNY@CLARIONISH.COM BOWL

After several years of constant lobbying the head honchos here at the Clarion Issue and southerndomains.com, the idiots have finally promised to look into the possibility of sponsoring a major college bowl. Our game will be during the bowl week that leads up to the clash between the number one and number two teams in the nation, usually on January third. The game will be called the Cluny@ClarionIsh.com Bowl named after my e-mail address and, of course, myself. Banjo (Dr. R. L. Norman, Ph.D.) the founder and CEO of southerndomains.com wanted to call it the Southerndomains.com Bowl, but after much persuasion (and threatening to pee on all the computers) my wisdom prevailed.

The idea to sponsor such a Bowl came to me when my master and his girlfriend, Miss Leashemup, were watching all the “.com” bowls over the last few years. The problem with most of these bowls was the match ups. Take for instance the GALLERYFURNITURE.COM BOWL. This mix match featured the Texas A&M Aggies against the TCU Hornedtoads. The Aggies won 28 to 9. Of course a cow is gonna stomp a frog! Any idiot could see that outcome; so why watch the game? We need real match ups like the Mississippi State Bulldogs against the Clemson Tigers. A real dog-cat fight. Or maybe match the Oregon Ducks against the TCU Hornedtoads in a fowl-reptile, which came first, settle the evolutionary question once and for all, contest. If the UGA Bulldogs could be matched with another dog team, then my hero Uga, the other team's mascot, and myself could smell each other's butts, and pee on the goal posts at halftime. Now that is a halftime show yet to be beat. People will watch the Cluny@ClarionIsh.com Bowl just for the halftime show.

Another important part of a good Bowl telecast is appropriate additional sponsors. Once again the bigwigs at southerndomains proved to be wrong. Banjo wanted to bring in the automobile sponsors like Ford or Chevy. Who wants to see cars and trucks? Sam wanted a few beer commercials and my master wanted to get cell phones and other high tech gadgets on board as associate sponsors. Surely they were kidding! Once again I had to overrule these nincompoops. Any bowl that will be named after me will have real commercial sponsors. I want products such as Alpo, Purina, Pedigree and of course Heinz, the makers of my favorite doggie snack, Scooby Snacks. Now those commercials are real attention grabbers.

So now we have a real plan for the Cluny@ClarionIsh.com Bowl. We have a real match up between real enemies. We're going to get great sponsors that have real interesting commercials. The halftime entertainment will be so good that people at home will want to see the half time show rather than insipid commentators making moronic game analysis and showing half-baked highlights from those other “.com” bowls like the HUMANITARIAN.COM BOWL or the INSITE.COM BOWL. I will make the southerndomains.com commercials myself and get that business off and running so even Banjo and my master will be happy. Of course, I am interested in what you, the bowl viewing public want. If you have any suggestions on possible match ups, sponsors, or commercial ideas let me hear from you. My e-mail address is: Cluny@ClarionIsh.com. You know- just like the bowl.

Email me:Cluny@ClarionIsh.com